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FieldsOfLavender posted 10/11/2013 14:15 PM

I can hear the activity in the basement. He's packing some of his stuff. We're separated, he moved out, and I know we will divorce, in a few months time. He has secured himself in a new relationship and the beginnings of a new family with his whore. She will move in to his place soon. She has already started moving things in and the baby crib has been assembled.

It still tugs a little at my heartstrings.

What would you think or feel if your mutual friends invited your WS and his/her affair partner over for dinner - while you are still married, but separated?

Nature_Girl posted 10/11/2013 14:18 PM

What would I think? I'd think that I needed to delete them as friends. Utterly delete them. Because that's not friendship to me. So, buh-bye!

amitheow posted 10/11/2013 14:24 PM

Bye Bye "friends" is what I would think! Atrocious.

FieldsOfLavender posted 10/11/2013 14:30 PM

I would feel betrayed but I thought maybe I was expecting too much from friendship.

NewMom0220 posted 10/11/2013 14:31 PM

Fields,

Do you have a lawyer yet? If not, it sounds like it's time to get to business.

Also, those don't sound like mutual friends. Those are not your friends.

[This message edited by NewMom0220 at 2:32 PM, October 11th (Friday)]

Faithful w/Love posted 10/11/2013 14:35 PM

Delete them from your life. they must not give a shit about your feelings. How horrible. You don't need friends like that anyways.
Don't worry your wh and his jeezeble with go down one day. And you will be happy!

heartache101 posted 10/11/2013 14:35 PM

They are not your friends if they invite him and AP.

damncutekitty posted 10/11/2013 14:37 PM

I would not continue to associate with any so called friends who would do that. I know people claim they don't want to take sides, but welcoming the AP with open arms is taking a side.

nowiknow23 posted 10/11/2013 14:49 PM

((((Lavender)))) I'm so sorry your "friends" have chosen that path, but as much as it hurts, they've done you a favor by showing you they are not truly friends of yours.

TrustGone posted 10/11/2013 16:19 PM

I know you are hurt and feel betrayed by not only your spouse, but also your friends. I am so sorry they have did this to you. They are not truely your friends if they allow this and just like the spouse, you are better off without them. (((HUGS)))

peridot posted 10/11/2013 16:37 PM

They would no longer be my friends.

Ashland13 posted 10/11/2013 18:50 PM

No more. I'm sorry, FOL. This is coming for me, too, if it hasn't happened without my knowledge already.

People do the shi..... things to each other and I'll never understand why. I hear the words, I read them, I study them, but to understand how people can hurt others so, and knowingly, I do not understand.

I've hemmed and hawed about this too and it's terrible to cut people out of life, but what kind of relationship is it when they are doing stuff of this caliber behind your back?

FieldsOfLavender posted 10/11/2013 20:43 PM

After my STBX was packing, he was looking for his winter coats. I put those in a trash bag but didn't donate those. I didn't give it to him. I was about to and went upstairs to get the trash bag but he kept yapping with his vitriol.

Because I gave away his clothes, he said, "I don't trust you anymore." Gee, you don't trust me after something as minor as donating your clothes? Do you think I trust you after you repeatedly lie to me, fuck another woman, and start a relationship with her?

Saadnblu posted 10/11/2013 21:00 PM

First, I would take the friends off my list of friends. I'm also learning who are my friends, and who are not. They frankly don't deserve to be your friend, and you don't need friends like that.

Second, what a statement! He doesn't trust you anymore? Wow! That deserves to be framed to remind you of why you really really are better off without him.

Personally, I think he's lucky you didn't just take his stuff to the curb!

Hugs!!

FieldsOfLavender posted 10/11/2013 21:05 PM

Personally, I think he's lucky you didn't just take his stuff to the curb!

I donated most of his winter clothes about 7 weeks ago when he told me he knocked up his whore and was going to start a new life. There were some items that I had bought him that I couldn't get myself to give away.

SBB posted 10/11/2013 21:08 PM

What would I think? I'd think that I needed to delete them as friends. Utterly delete them. Because that's not friendship to me. So, buh-bye!

I haven't lost any friendships but he has for this very reason. I didn't need to ask them - they didn't do it because they are loyal to me, they did it because he is a douchebag THEY don't want in their lives.

LifeIsBroken posted 10/11/2013 21:26 PM

"Friends" who would condone the affair by inviting ws and the skank to dinner? Not friends, #1. And showing you who they are (#2). Don't need 'em, wouldn't want 'em. My xh learned who his friends weren't because they didn't like the kind of person he is. You'll feel so much better once his crap is out of the house, FOL. Sad about what could have been but glad because you're going forward without the weight of that man dragging you into HIS abyss.