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Newest Member: Phoenix2rise (45723)

User Topic: Not sure if this is normal or not- tmi
cuppacoffee
♀ 39313
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay so we've been trying to do the deed. I"m all hormonal ( 16/17 weeks pregnant) and ready to go. The husband has been having issues.

He decided to tell me that he hasn't finished the past few times we've had sex. Of course I know this because I have been with him for 14 years and well I know when he's finishing and such.

He told me it was because even though it feels great that he starts thinking about how he hurt me with the A. Then he thinks about the baby and how last time after I had the baby is when he was in his A and he was a horrible husband and dad.

Does this seem reasonable or like a bunch of crap?


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
ShatteredLove00
♀ 40830
Member # 40830
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess I might be biased, but it seems reasonable to me. Actually, it bothers me A LOT that less than 2 months after my husband cheated he is super interested in sex. Me, whenever he is even showing some interest, all I can think about are mind movies of him and the OW. I start crying, much less want to do anything with him.

Obviously you guys are a lot further out than we are, but I can definitely see his reasoning. Not surprised being pregnant is a bit of a trigger for either of you...I'm pretty sure it will be for me.


Me: BS (29) Him: SAWH (30)
HS Sweethearts, WAS each other's 1st/onlys. 1 child & 8 months pregnant when he hired prostitute/confessed.
D-Day: September 1, 2013
Shocked, disgusted, and struggling.

Posts: 34 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: United States
doubleboggy
♂ 40622
Member # 40622
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From a menz point of view, seems totally reasonable. When you get stuff stuck in your brain, its hard to finish. Still feels good, but if my mind is not playing along, it is not going to happen. Then, it starts to snowball on itself, so more crap in my head and more problems finishing. It sucks. You can help him though. Help him relax, help him clear his mind. Trust me, it is a bigger deal to him than it is to you.

OTOH,it could be a bunch of crap.


D Day: 3/31/13

Posts: 108 | Registered: Sep 2013
cuppacoffee
♀ 39313
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's on a ton of meds too. I probably should have said that.

They just took away the one that takes the edge off the one to make the lovin' happen.

The weird thing is during the day it's hands all over me but once it gets to lovin' time he's not all there.

:(


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
moveon?
♀ 10445
Member # 10445
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds reasonable...sex can be very mental for men, believe it or not. And once they have trouble finishing once or twice, then it becomes even MORE mental...kind of like an athlete who's in a slump. Add pregnancy on top of that, and yes, sounds reasonable.


Age 43, trying my best not to become jaded...

Posts: 347 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: TX
HardenMyHeart
♂ 15902
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 11:42 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds reasonable to me. Guilt and remorse can really play a number in your head. If your mind is struggling to focus on the task at hand, then finishing can be tough.


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5711 | Registered: Aug 2007
Marathonwaseasy
♀ 40674
Member # 40674
Default  Posted: 12:15 AM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fwh has issues finishing too
Annoys me as clearly not a problem with whore
But not a reflection on us really. None of this shit is.


Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...

"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."


Posts: 421 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ireland
Topic Posts: 7

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