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Newest Member: Hopeless07 (61511)

User Topic: Day to day - what to do
♀ 40674
Member # 40674
Default  Posted: 12:24 AM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

4 weeks yesterday since dday
He has been over benefited for years. I'm codependent (I hope recovering...) I've worked and taken all the responsibility and blame for all family decisions. He did do stuff with poor grace and in an unreliable way. There has been a big change in him - he is taking responsibility and I'm letting him. But am I still doing too much?
He's competing in a duathlon today. Me and our girls are going to spectate and hang around for hours during this. Although he has waited around for me at running races previously so maybe that's ok. I've prepared a picnic. Mostly for me and the girls which will probably be eaten in the car but the 3 year old will love that. There is stuff to do like a play park and ducks to feed and nice places to walk. But I just want to tell him to sod off and do his bloody duathlon without my support.
The morning after dday I still made him his morning bloody coffee. Ok that was partly because I wanted him to get up to deal with the kids while I hid under the duvet but still.
On one hand I think if we are going to R then we need to just get on with living. On the other hand I want to tell him to get stuffed if he wants me to do anything for him. Go and ask the whore.

Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...

"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."

Posts: 421 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ireland
♀ 37439
Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 12:57 AM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think all of these actions are fine, but this is coming from a fellow co-dependent

But from where I stand is that I know to require him to do something in return

I'm personally not in the school of thought to punish Waywards consistently through not doing nice things for eachother, and one needs to push through it. However that's only if R has a chance from the wayward.

I hope a fellow co-dependent can hop on and give you some better advice, as I still struggle a bit!

[This message edited by lauren123 at 1:04 AM, October 12th (Saturday)]

OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 2

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