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Newest Member: PregnantNurse (61778)

User Topic: An update..turning the corner, I think
♀ 33338
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2 weeks ago today, at this time, I was taking a shower, washing the blood of 2 young men off my hands, arms and legs.

Two young lives ended that day. The 21 year old died shortly after the wreck that happened less than a mile from my home. His 23 year old brother was released from the hospital Monday, immediately arrested and charged with felony DUI. DUI. At freaking 10am on a Saturday morning.

The last 2 weeks have been so hard for me, JM and our ds14 who witnessed the entire horrible scene. DS is having a hard time sleeping. We talked to him last night about going back to the counselor he saw in 2012. He says he thinks he's going to be okay and wants to just keep talking to me and JM. I told him we'd be watching him and that I might ultimately make the decision for him if I feel he needs it.

I've been having panic attacks while driving. My work commute is about half an hour and most of it is interstate. There is traffic, a good bit of it. And I'm driving like an old lady, gripping the wheel with tears streaming down my face.

Yesterday, on my way in to work, it started to happen and I got pissed. I decided that I was done with that crap and turned on one of my favorite CDs. Cranked it up as loud as it would go. And I took back that territory. I made it home last night without crying.

I'm really feeling much more of the anger now than the shock and sadness. I'm pissed. Pissed that this kid destroyed his life, killed his brother, blew up his family, and changed so many people forever. I'm angry about what was taken from my son, from me and JM.

But I can see the other side, now, as I'm crossing this swamp that life threw me into. And there is so much good. Because we are a family. JM, DS and I are holding together, supporting each other, talking, listening. We're gonna be okay. I'm gonna be okay.

Please keep praying for Nick and his family. Because they're not gonna be okay for a very long time, if ever.

Me, 50. (How did THAT happen??)
Him, 42 (JMSSC)
married 20 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 3999 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am glad to hear you feel you're turning the corner. I hope your DS will continue to talk to you.

Such a waste!

You're whole family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Me: BSO - 49
Him: FWSO - 72
DS - 16
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 26016 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I'm glad you're turning the corner.

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

Posts: 55129 | Registered: Sep 2007
♀ 33247
Member # 33247
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so happy to hear you are doing better. You are so very strong.

Me: BS
Dday: June 2011

Courage is not having the strength to go on; it is going on when you don't have the strength.

--Theodore Roosevelt

Posts: 1359 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 4

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