SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I have been thinking about this a lot. Anyone feel like sharing?

I want to know best and worst moments of NB. It would help me feel less alone. Maybe it would help someone new to NB realize others have been there and that better days ARE coming.

A few that come to mind-

Best: heartfelt things my kids have made for me, getting a good grade in a hard class, genuine compliment from boss on my strength. Moments of reclaiming self esteem. Moments of gratitude.

Worst: days on the bathroom floor crying, believing this would last forever. Being broke finding money for pizza for me and kids for dinner, crying when dropped it on the ground out of box carrying it into the house. Before CS began going to and lining up for a church food distribution.

Worst: that agonizing lonely feeling of spending 4 days of a Christmas holiday totally alone.

Best: having control of my own destiny, and being able to do whatever I want.

Best: Cutting down the tree outside while all the neighbours laughed watching me with the chainsaw, hiring someone and having the patio doors finally installed WITHOUT him.

Worst: Of course, there are a few, but having my mom recently diagnosed with cancer, and not having someone to lean on.

Best: KNOWING I can do this on my own. I can handle being a full time single mom, own my house, finish two degrees and own a house.

Worst: The first time my kids left Christmas Day, the first heartbreak in dating.

Best : getting my journeyman ticket and realizing that I can support myself financially.

Worst : So, so many but the utter confusion and disbelief that I felt at the beginning still take my breath away when I think about it.

Best: Buying my own home and tackling major landscaping renovations all by myself. My neighbors loved it!!

Worst: Dating too soon, idiots that I let tear down my self esteem even more than my cheating ex did.

Best: Realizing after he moved out that I could do this myself, because the only thing I did differently was take the cans to the curb on garbage day. Having tremendous success in grad school, and finding a new community, wonderful mentors, and new self respect. Having the best sex of my life in a relationship with a man I never expected would be interested in me, and seeing myself through his eyes. Seeing that my kids were still thriving, despite my fears.

Worst: Realizing how alone I had been long before we S and D, as evidenced by how much I was doing on my own and how little changed when he moved out. Having my new relationship end before I was ready. The intermittent waves of grief that still can knock me completely over once in awhile. The other relationships that have changed in my life since D. Feeling like I have very little backup support.

worst-holidays by myself, too many weekends alone .

Best-meeting someone very special at DFW. It was wonderful.

Worst: The Princess felt the need to tell me when she went back on birth control pills, shortly after I moved out.

Best: Planning and going on a short vacation with my little boys to Montreal. I can do that without relying on the control freak to make it happen.

I have so many to list in both categories, but if I had to pick one for each I'd say these were the most unlikely things to happen and did.

BEST: Finally getting settlement money after a 3 year battle AFTER the divorce and being able to refinance the house in my name only. (Even my lawyers told me to give up. I went through 7 of them trying to get the money he owed. In the end, I did it myself)

WORST: Having a near fatal heart attack at 39 years old brought on by the stress associated with above mentioned battle. (In great shape, at the gym 4 times a week and was emailing my lawyer from my hospital bed )