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Just a thought, not happy of course

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cantaccept posted 10/12/2013 14:19 PM

It seems that every day that passes brings a new question.

H has told me that ow was a BS. Her husband cheated with prostitutes and they divorced. She told him how devastated she was.

Now, my new question. I wonder if he comforted her, thought this was such a terrible thing to go through? Did he show her empathy and compassion?

Kind of like the empathy and compassion that I need from him now?

Where do these thoughts come from??? Does it never end?

headdesk posted 10/12/2013 14:35 PM

Yeah, I get this. Part of it was the TTing and part was simply things I'd ask that he hadn't thought of until I asked them and he had to ponder it through.

He could be the 'hero' in the A. I was the one in more 'control' in the M and didn't need no saving, tyvm. But I want (we all want) them to GET it. Sometimes that doesn't happen. I'm lucky(??) in the way that if I can walk the WH through it, he can see it from my point. He rarely can get it on his own though and that's where the headdesking comes in. I'm hoping that once he starts IC that he can get the support and insight he needs.

Gumdropped posted 10/18/2013 09:38 AM

On one of the 3 hour chats that I found my SO spent about a half an hour asking the OW about her past relationships. She said that her first H cheated on her more than once. My SO said that that would be a deal breaker for sure!!!! Here he us in an EA with her while living with me and HE says it would be a deal breaker! Just another instance of who and what you can be to someone behind a computer and a phone. She didn't know that he had a partner. She lived in another Province. How is it that when people who get on line think that they are the only " interest" that the person is conversing with? From what I found my SO had on going chats with at least 3 people. Sick. Sad. Pathetic.

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