My WH dated the MOW when they were in high school. They got pregnant, and decided to put the baby up for adoption. They continued to date, but ended up breaking up because she cheated oh him.
Fast forward several years, and I begin dating him. He told me early in our relationship about his background with her. I thought he was so brave. Little did I know what the future would hold in store for us.
Dday #1 was 4/30/13, just shy of our 5th wedding anniversary. I found emails between my WH and the MOW. I remember feeling numb. Completely convinced that there had to be some sort of mistake. There was no way my loving husband could have sent these emails. It was him. I confronted him, and he swore to me that they had only met in person once, for lunch. He said when we visited my newborn cousin in the hospital, it was the same hospital the baby they had placed up for a adoption had been born in. He said it caused him a trigger back to that day. He had emailed her asking if she had any photos of the son they had placed for adoption. After they met for lunch, he said she emailed him saying she was still in love with him (despite the fact that each of them happened to be married). Their "EA" continued from that point on.
Four days after I discovered his lies, his mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Until that phone call, we had not talked or touched one another since DDay. I hugged him as we both cried over the devastating news. At that moment, I knew I wanted to work on our marriage, and get through the coming challenges together.
We had been working so hard at rebuilding our relationship. He told me he had gone NC as soon as I learned of their relationship, and promised me nothing physical happened.
Last night I told him that I was afraid that he was still hiding something and that one day, I would be blindsighted by him again. He asked me why I thought he was hiding something. I simply asked him if he was hiding something. After a pause, he said yes. I felt the ground shift from below me as I waited for what felt like an eternity for what was to come. He then admitted to me that he slept with her twice during their affair.
So I am numb again. Completely devasted that he lied to me again. Shocked that I let myself start to forgive him for the damage caused to our relationship. Now I find myself switching back and forth between sobbing and feeling so empty that it hurts.
For his part, he playing the role of the remorseful WH again. Promising me that this is the whole truth, and pleading with me to one day love and trust him again.
The thing is, I just don't know if I can. I don't know that I can glue all of my shattered pieces back together again. Never in a million years did I believe that this would be my life.