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User
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Topic: love vs Appreciation
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broken81
♀ 36774
Member # 36774 |  Posted: 4:09 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013 |     |
I have been stuck on this feeling of WH must love me more now than before.
Its like i can feel and see his love, not just know that he loves me.
I kept asking him if he loves me more now. Everytime he says he always loved me and its the same.
I had this moment yesterday where it came to me that maybe i'm mistaking his appreciation as loving me more.
Anyone else had this feeling of they must love me more?
Me BS
him fWS
M 8yrs 2 kids
DD 2/12 lies until 4/12
2.5 yr A with an OLD married whore
working on R
Posts: 233 | Registered: Sep 2012 |
ladies_first
♀ 24643
Member # 24643 | | Posted: 4:24 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013 | |
Would you be willing to give an example?
Perhaps during the A he was emotionally detached and now that his energy is refocused on you he is more emotionally present?
"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway
Posts: 2144 | Registered: Jun 2009 |
broken81
♀ 36774
Member # 36774 | | Posted: 4:34 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013 | |
He is definitly more caring and affectionate than during his A and before.
I had always felt that he didnt appreciate what i did, and just felt like i'd always be around.
i just keep focusing on he must love me more now if he shows it more. Its nice but also sad to think he might have loved me less.
Me BS
him fWS
M 8yrs 2 kids
DD 2/12 lies until 4/12
2.5 yr A with an OLD married whore
working on R
Posts: 233 | Registered: Sep 2012 |
sisoon
♂ 31240
Member # 31240 | | Posted: 10:19 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013 | |
Is it that now he expresses his appreciation and before the A he didn't?
fBH (me) - 70+, fWW, Married 45+, together 45+, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I share my own experience because it's all I know.
Posts: 15772 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois |
iwillNOT
♀ 40605
Member # 40605 | | Posted: 11:04 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013 | |
Maybe just knows he needs to express it more, now? Since There's been a crisis?
Me: BS, 46
Him: WH, 47
Together 24 years
4 amazing kids
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Choosing myself daily and R almost every day
Posts: 696 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest |
TheAmazingWondertwin
♀ 40769
Member # 40769 | | Posted: 7:19 AM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013 | |
Can it be love AND appreciation rather than vs.?
He has always loved you but due to this situation realizes he never truly appreciated you? Or never truly showed you?
My WH says he feels more connected to me with our honesty lately and that because of that, he is more able to express himself. And he knows what he almost lost so he is making sure I know that he is where he wants to be.
I thought I had stopped pretending. I was wrong.
Me- BS 41
Him- WS 38
17 years
2 DS- 15 and 16
DDay 1- 07-24-2013
full truth: 11-14-2013
DDay 2: EA w/CoW, 06-15-2017
Posts: 1090 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast |
shatteredheart7
♀ 39734
Member # 39734 | | Posted: 12:43 PM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013 | |
I agree with wondertwin. FWH and I have talked about this at length. He always loved me, he thought he appreciated me. However, he now knows that he really didn't appreciate me before. Losing me and the thought of possibly losing me again have made him realize that he has to show me every day how much he loves AND appreciates me.
Me~40
FWH~46
Married 8yrs
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
Him~no kids
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!
Posts: 240 | Registered: Jul 2013 |
broken81
♀ 36774
Member # 36774 | | Posted: 3:42 PM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013 | |
First thank you everyone for the replies.
He does appreciate me alot more now. He use to expect alot more from me and now is more reasnable in his expectations. (ie: housework)
I do think that he is showing his feelings more, both for my sake and his own. He says it feels good to be more open and expressing his feelings. this is a change, he formerly had a job that he had to be able to shut off his feelings for work. So it didnt turn right back on once he got home.
I guess for myself i just am not use to him appreciating me and still question how much he can love me. It must have to do with feeling like he was giving me what he was capable of but now i see he could have given me more all along.
Me BS
him fWS
M 8yrs 2 kids
DD 2/12 lies until 4/12
2.5 yr A with an OLD married whore
working on R
Posts: 233 | Registered: Sep 2012 |
| Topic Posts: 8 | |
