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Divorce/Separation :
Delicious and juicy subconscious brain sez ...

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 Vulcanized (original poster member #33523) posted at 9:53 AM on Sunday, October 13th, 2013

From just about the minute that XH hooked up w/main OW, I kept having this befuddling recurring dream. After DD, I figured out what it meant and never had it again. Details aren't important, suffice it to say, it was a thinly veiled allegory relating to XH & M.

Had this gem 2 days ago.

Go to a party w/friends & my mother (oddly enough). Walking thru the room and see XH, who calls out to me, having seen me before I saw him. He wants to talk to me, but I don't want to talk to him.

He is incredibly drunk, possibly on drugs and sitting on OW's lap. She tries to say something to me and I tell her that she is totally inconsequential and is really lucky I haven't kicked her ass. To XH I say 'wow, you are really fucked up, aren't ya?'.

On waking, that really resonates w/me. I still struggle w/believing that XH is damaged in an irreparable way. Intellectually, yes, but emotionally, I keep having this idea that I'm wrong.

The whole thing was just so damn strange, and also is forcing me to just accept reality and move the fuck away from toxic XH.

Didn't mention this to anyone in RL, but know that y'all going thru it totally understand.

Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long

Now:-----> Everything is as it should be

posts: 940   ·   registered: Oct. 4th, 2011   ·   location: The Hostile City
id 6521666
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inconnu ( member #24518) posted at 5:18 PM on Sunday, October 13th, 2013

I had a series of dreams after ex left that I know were because I was processing everything that happened. It felt like each dream was the next step forward, and in some of the dreams I got to tell ex exactly what I thought of him. The last few dreams had him in the distance, just watching as I got on with my life. I think the dreams were part of how I let go, kwim?

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

posts: 13294   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
id 6521922
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sparkysable ( member #3703) posted at 11:47 PM on Sunday, October 13th, 2013

I have had dreams for the last 3 years, that XWH keeps trying to cheat on the OW, with ME. It's never happened in real life, so I don't' get it.

D-day OW#1 2/2004;D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

posts: 5718   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2004   ·   location: NY
id 6522278
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Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 5:43 AM on Monday, October 14th, 2013

My idiot subconscious wants to get back together with my STBXH. Luckily my conscious mind knows that the person I miss, never really existed, except maybe in my dreams. It's like confusing the actor with the role he played. Well STBXH isn't playing that role anymore.

DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

posts: 3406   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois, USA
id 6522610
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