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I have a few. One that still makes me laugh is this: We had just moved into a new house and MIL was coming over to check it out. We re-arranged the living room furniture right before she arrived (really bad idea!). We were giving her the tour of the house and we walked into the living room and I forgot that I had placed the ottoman *right there*. So the next thing I knew, I was splatted atop the ottoman, looking at the floor, and LMAO.

What are some of your most embarrassing moments?

My life is a series of embarrassing moments.

Most recently: Went to parent teacher conferences. Didn't have time to change clothes after cleaning house all day long. Did the whole parent/teacher thing, tried to be serious (hard to do when you're the parent of MY boys), and grown up and professional and such. Got to the last teacher, sat down, introduced myself and waited for the "unfoundling is a great kid, blah blah blah, talks too much blah blah blah but is doing great in class", but instead got "Unfoundling is passing this class with flying colors...uh he may be able to help you with that" and points to my shirt.

I had a "GOT CRABS?" shirt on from Joes Crabshack...and I was sitting across from DS's health teacher.

Sigh.

I have an embarrassing tendency to accidentally proposition people, including Louie, the bear mascot for the St. Louis Blues. He was visiting kids in the hospital with Patrick Berglund and they stopped by my son's hospital room while I was rubbing his feet (his favorite thing when he doesn't feel good) and Louie stuck his foot up, jokingly like "my turn". I smiled and tried to joke back and blurted out "Sure, hop onto the bed, I'll do everybody!" I immediately turned red and started apologizing and trying to backtrack and stuttering, I was so embarrassed. Joshie didn't catch a thing of course, and I don't think Patrick Berglund did either, as English is not his first language, but I'm sure he was filled in by the bear afterwards. I have done this four times and counting, I don't think before I speak sometimes.

I was a junior in high school. My dad and I were at the airport, picking my mom up from a trip....and I told them that *I* would get her bag off of the carousel. So here comes the bag.....me: "I got it"....grabbed it....about pulled my arm out of its socket....said "jesus christ, mom, what do you have in here?" Turned around and saw a nun standing RIGHT behind me.

Yea, I'm going to hell.....

[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 6:10 PM, October 13th (Sunday)]

These are HYSTERICAL!!

I'm glad I posted this!

Pull up a chair.

When ds14 was about 5, we went to a NASCAR race with my ILs. The kids went up and spent the whole week with ILs in their RV, and JM and I drove up on Friday for the races. Sunday AM, both boys were just NASTY. They hadn't had a proper bath or shower all week. So I took them to the shower facilities at the campground. Huge facility...like 40 stalls on each side. My older ds was old enough to go in the men's side by himself. I took the younger one with me. Each stall had a little changing area divided from the shower with a curtain. I stripped him, threw him in the shower, then undressed myself. As soon as I stepped in the shower, he screamed, "MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!! WHY YOU GOT HAIR ON YOUR PEE PEE???????????????????????????"

O.M.G. I thought I was going to literally burst into flames and die. I could hear women laughing all up and down the place. I stayed in there for, like, 45 minutes, hoping everyone who heard it would have left by then.

Some more recent favorites:

I was driving JM's truck and had to stop for groceries. When I came out, it was pouring down rain and I didn't have an umbrella. I thought I could be smooth and hold all the grocery bags with my left hand, open the door and jump in, with one smooth move. All went according to plan until I started to jump in and realized I was at the wrong truck. And the man whose truck it was, was sitting there talking on his cell phone. I was about to jump in his lap. He asked, "Are you coming with me" And I stammered, "Oh, no. Not tonight. Thanks, though!" And then slunk away in the rain to find our truck.

Hmmm...another time, I walked around all day long in 2 completely different shoes. Not like 2 different colored but similarly styled shoes. Oh no. One white tennis shoe and one leather loafer. All day.

Sometimes I'm amazed that I haven't been killed by my stupidity at some point.

Well, two come immediately to mind

1. I was leading the furnace guy into basement and told him to watch his head on the low-ceiling in my basement stairwell...I then turned around and fell down the stairwell.

2. I'll tell SI group because I'm anonymous on here and it's one I can't tell too many people in person. Yes, it is THAT embarrassing..

background: about 15 years ago my sister worked in jewelry business, high-end stuff. She would get customers ordering big $$ jewelry and to save them tax dollars would ship to my address out-of-state. She would then come across state line to pick it up at my place and then go back to deliver the jewelry to customer. I didn't like the arrangement and had been telling her I wanted it to end.

So, ethics aside...

she called me one day and said the customer wanted to drive to my apartment and pick it up themselves, they had a special party. I didn't like that idea but finally agreed. I received the package and told my sister it was there and she contacted customer.

The husband and wife drive 2 HOURS to pick up this special-order necklace for their party that night.

I hand them the package, he brings it outside to their car and wife uses my bathroom.

All of a sudden Husband is back at my door asking me "is this some kind of joke?!"

I ask what is wrong.

He replies "this is NOT a necklace and this is NOT what I ordered"

OMG...it's beginning to dawn on me....

Husband is pissed. He's wondering what is going on after driving 2 hours.

I'm beginning to remember the contents of the other package I had been expecting....

Husband hands me the box

I peek in and yep, I was afraid of that...

I look at the return address, which I hadn't done before.

it was actually something I had ordered.

It was definitely NOT their 15K necklace...

Instead of their beautiful diamond necklace, there in that box was the neon-green BOB and assorted other toys I had ordered

I was mortified.

OMG, what could I say?!?!

I wanted to sink into the floor and disappear.

They ultimately wound up driving back home 2 hours, with a bad attitude, no necklace and only a good story to tell at their party.

Me? Well, after the mortification wore off, I had a fun night

The real necklace did arrive a few days later and my sister picked it up.

Needless to say, that was THE END of that entire arrangement my sister had going.

I've only told 4 people that story IRL. Now I share with SI my most embarrassing moment. EVER.

I was looking down at a chart while walking into an exam room one time and said to my patient"Bob, you've lost 35lbs in the last six months! what's your secret?"

I look up to see "Bob" glaring at me, on crutches, with his above the knee amputation. Whoops.

I pooped my pants in a shoe store.

My H & I had been out for a delicious, but rich, meat-lovers pizza.Then we set out to get him new shoes. He HATES to go shopping, but once you get him into a store he always has dozens of questions about whatever it is he's buying.

About halfway through the shoe-buying and fitting experience, I started to fill a tummy rumble. It was a small store and I knew they didn't have a public restroom. I was too shy to ask for the employee's restroom, and besides I thought surely we'd be done soon and I could escape to a nearby gas station. WRONG!

I began to fidget and my H finally asked if I was in a hurry or something. I replied "Kind of" and within seconds I involuntarily unloaded. It was still a few minutes before we finished the transaction and escaped, me praying the whole time no one could see or smell anything! When we headed to the car, my H was still blissfully unaware and asked what my problem was. I can only hope if he didn't notice no one else did either. I've never been back to that shoe store though, and that was decades ago.

I work in a small company - there are only 2 stalls in the ladies room.

One day, I really had to go. I walked in and both stalls were in use. I said "Hurry UP!! I have to Pee."

One of the doors opens, and out walks the owner's 75 year old mother. She apologized for taking so long.

I almost peed myself out of mortification when she walked out.

Haven't been to SI in a while. Embarassing in and of itself! I could write a book, but this one is a favorite.

GSG and I are team leaders at Firecamp, an overnight week-long Explorer Post for girls interested in experiencing volunteer fire and EMS services, held during the summer in Utica, NY. On Wednesday nights we go to the city pool for a class, then swim and relax for a bit.

Many female firefighters have tattoos, clearly visible wearing bathing gear. Many of us stood in a circle, laughing and talking with some of the older campers. One asked, "So, do all firefighters have tats?"

I responded, "Well, I have three at home."

Um. I guess it is time for a hearing test.

And I know know what my first tattoo will be.

I've called a boss "Daddy"

I've tucked my skirt into the back of my pantyhose and then stood in the hallway talking to a coworker as other coworkers passed by and didn't say a word.

I was having an argument with my then BF (now X) wherein he used a racial slur; I was enraged and blurted out, "What do you mean you feel like a xxxxxxxxx" in front of a restaurant full of patrons (and he proceeded to chastize me for using the slur )

My entire family got in the wrong car after church one Sunday morning.

I was (much) less than gracious when then BF gave me an old rug for Christmas-in front of his whole family (my present--skis--were rolled up inside the old rug.)

I was reciting what thought was a funny poem in front of my class and everyone was laughing hysterically. Turns out my wrap-around skirt had unwrapped...

I argued grammar with a teacher when she explained that you lay down inanimate objects but animate objects lie down. I blurted out, "But you can lay a dog (down)..." Cue hysterical laughter from the rest of the class.

[This message edited by Sad in AZ at 1:54 PM, October 14th (Monday)]

I once loaded bags of groceries from my cart into the back seat of a car that wasn't mine - I noticed a bag on the back seat and as I was loading bag after bag of groceries I was wondering where the bag came from, why I hadn't seen it before, wait a minute - where's the car seat? And then I realized it wasn't my car, and that an elderly woman was sitting in the passenger front seat, fake sleeping to avoid having the embarrassing encounter where we both acknowledge I'm totally at the wrong car. I quietly unloaded, whispered "sorry!" and left. As I drove out I saw her really animatedly relating her adventure to some guy getting in the car. I knew she was awake, the big faker.

I've told this before, but still ranks at one of my most embarrassing moments. I was getting off the phone with my boss and ended the call with an automatic "I love you". My boss has no sense of humor, is a very distinguished and important person who takes his own importance very seriously, if you catch my drift. Though he did understand. I still think of it when I see him.

Smaller stuff. I'm a noted shopping cart thief. Probably 50% of my shopping experiences involve me making off with someone else's cart. I've even come up with a line to apologize, it happens often enough. Come to think of it I'm a total disaster in the grocery store. I have also been known to accidentally take ownership of the carts employees are using to reshelve items or those that are used as a discount bin. I looked down one day not too long ago and saw I was pushing a cart piled to the top with clearance makeup and discount hair dye, with a huge orange 50% off starburst sign taped to the side. My cart was like 5 aisles away. I was pushing the makeup a long, long time.

[This message edited by circe at 2:22 PM, October 14th (Monday)]

Circe, what is your cart-stealing line? I am also a noted cart-stealer.

GSG also tells random people she loves them. When on call, she is called in mid-night. One night she told poor Lewis, the overnight help desk guy, "I love you, man!" No one has ever forgotten it.

Circe, what is your cart-stealing line? I am also a noted cart-stealer.

Nothing clever, just make a 'yikes!' face and say "sorry! I'm a well known cart thief, trying to break the habit! I guess I left mine in produce?" with an embarrassed look. (Produce is usually the place where my cart switching happens) I used to try to say something off the cuff but nearly always made it even more awkward. It's worse if you pile stuff into it before it's discovered, because then you have to have the the "is this yours? no...what about these?" conversation.

TJ cart stealing.I have actually checked out with half my stuff and half someone else's. Only found out when I got home

For me the latest is something that happens every week.

I have therapy on Tuesdays with an awesome IC. Every week I go to say, "See you next Tuesday!" and then a certain acronym I learned from SI comes to mind. So I consciously have to tell her, "See you on Tuesday" or "See you next week" in order to not think of the acronym. LOL thanks SI!!!

[This message edited by silverhopes at 10:38 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)]

When we just had one kid, he use to crawl in our bed every night. If we wanted to have some "fun" we would go in another room. He was a really sound sleeper, so we didnt bother locking the door. It was morning, daylight. My hubby was " downstairs" on me. I looked to my side and there was my son with his arms crossed. I don't know how long he had been standing there. I still to this day wonder if he's remembered it.

I snorted at all of the cart stealing. I do it all the time, once twice in one trip. One time a cute guy chased me down...if it wasn't so embarrassing I could use it as a pick up line!

One day a solicitor came by. I shouted through the door that I didn't open my door to strangers, sorry. He said, "Then you might want to take your keys out of your door." Agh!

TJ cart stealing.I have actually checked out with half my stuff and half someone else's. Only found out when I got home

Wow, you're slick! I'm almost always caught way before the check out!

I shouted through the door that I didn't open my door to strangers, sorry. He said, "Then you might want to take your keys out of your door." Agh!

I did that when DH and I were dating! I was in a snit when he dropped me off at my door one night and pouted my way into my house and closed and locked the door, only to hear him knock a minute later. I told him through the door that I didn't want to keep arguing and to let it rest, but he had only knocked to tell me I'd left the keys hanging out of the lock.