It's been 7 months since D-Day and it has been sooo hard for me. Long story short, my WH and I have been to counseling and things started to "get better"...
(sidenote: during the 3 month post-counseling, I found out that I was pregnant. I'm still not sure how I feel about this. Everyone expects me to be over-the-moon excited and I feel completely nonchalant.)
...anyway, I digress, things were getting better. I feel like we were both taking things that we learned in therapy and applying them in our daily lives and it was reassuring to know that perhaps my decision to stay was validated. Then today happened.
For the past few days, my "spidey sense" has been tingling. I even had a very vivid dream of him cheating again, and my intuition has been heightened ever since. I went to check his email (he knows I have access and check it periodically) and saw that he signed up for an online dating site 3 weeks ago. His headline? "I just want some h***".
I don't know what to do right now. I feel so tired of putting in the effort into this marriage if every 6-8 months, he decides to slip. This time, it's an online dating site - next 6 months, who knows?
I don't even want to talk to him right now. I feel so disgusted with him (and with myself for even staying this long). Part of me feels "stuck" now that we are having a baby.
I'm planning on seeing if I can get an emergency session with our therapist sometime this week. But in the meantime, I'm going insane internally. I can't even look him in the eyes...
...any words/ideas/comments/advice would be GREATLY appreciated.