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breakingpoint posted 10/13/2013 19:33 PM

My xAP and I work together. I have ended any and all sexual and emotional talk. I have ended all texting and FB contact. I have stated my boundaries clearly. I have stuck to my guns.

But we still have to work side by side for about an hour a day. We are always with other people, so there is no opportunity for bad behavior. I can not get another job due to the job market of my specific career. It took me a year of earning my way in, and I need my money to survive.

What else can I do to keep the right distance? What do you do if NC is not possible?

Deeply Scared posted 10/13/2013 20:05 PM


Please read this article from the Healing Library under WS FAQ's...its written by another WS and pretty insightful

breakingpoint posted 10/13/2013 20:39 PM

Thanks! This was really helpful!

Deeply Scared posted 10/13/2013 21:06 PM

I'm glad it was helpeful

I think working with the OP is possibly, not necessarily the best situation, but sometimes we all have to figure out how to make the best out of the worst. If that makes sense.

Be honest and upfront with your spouse...don't hide anything and make a crappy situation even worse.

you're trying hard, that's obvious...keep heading in the right direction

Card posted 10/14/2013 19:59 PM


It sounds like you've already made the decision to stay where you are?

Statements like, "I cannot get another job", "It took me a year of earning my way in", "I need my money to survive". IMO these all say I'm staying, but I want to make sure I 'appear' to be doing all I can.

I did the 'appearing' to do all I can and it was all at my wife's expense.

Any form of contact I kept with my AP was also at my wife's expense.

There is always a price, regretfully, just like in my own situation, it's the BS that continues to pay the most.

Are you planning to reconcile your marriage?

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