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Marathonwaseasy (original poster member #40674) posted at 7:37 AM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Fwh lost his original wedding ring during his first breakdown and admission about 6-7 years ago. He bought a cheap one and wore that until he broke his hand about 3 years ago. I don't know why we didn't think it mattered. The cheap one was damaged and the ?brass in it irritated and discoloured his skin. 3 years ago was in the middle of our ongoing disconnect due to his denial of his bipolar diagnosis and my codependent response of protecting him from life. Which went so well...
Anyway we are only 1 month post dday but he wants to wear a wedding ring again. So we are buying one today. I'm pleased but sad that we couldn't get to a place where we could even try to be a couple without such a painful bomb going off in our marriage.
I have no idea what our future holds but I'm glad he's going to be outwardly married while we try.
Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...
"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."
Raven96 ( member #40298) posted at 1:31 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
I think this is very encouraging! I hope it is a good day for both of you, and you can make the most of it together by grabbing lunch afterward or catching a movie you've been wanting to see.
Sending good thoughts your way today, Marathon!! (((Hugs)))
Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?
Andthencraigslis ( new member #40246) posted at 1:36 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Positive move forward! And everyone says to look to his actions - I think this is a great one. Enjoy your day together!
TXBW68 ( member #36456) posted at 6:27 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
I think it's a good sign also. My H stopped wearing his in 2007. I didn't realize that he was letting people think we were divorced back then. I thought we were happy but he had gained some weight so it was uncomfortable on his finger.
Fast forward to now - after we started our R, I told him part of my requirement was new rings. I can't stand to even look at the old ones. He agreed. We both have new rings now. He wears his proudly!
Me (46) WH (42),2 boys 15 & 11
M 18yrs T 22yrs
Separated 10 months (4/12 to 2/13)
Final Total - #1/#2 ONS and #3/#4 EA/PA - left me for #4, didn't know about #2 and 3 until he moved back home
We are solidly in R now
Marathonwaseasy (original poster member #40674) posted at 7:35 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
We got a ring :)
And it was £150 off in the sale
He wanted one exactly like mine and he was so excited. Chose the slightly tighter size so it couldn't ever slip off
We then went for lunch and I formally put it on his finger over a plate of noodles
I'd prepared a wee speech
"When I put a ring on your finger the first time I had no idea what it meant. Now I do but I still want to (meaning his effing bipolar)
"Look at it every time and remember I love you, we have the hope of a good future together and this ring means the rest of the world can f@ck off"
He was so happy. We shopped a bit and I'm now exhausted and he's doing everything in the house and with the kids while I rest.
I like this new husband and I love how his hand looks with my ring on it
But I'm still very, very scared
Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...
"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."
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