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t/j texts you'd like to send

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rachelc posted 10/14/2013 08:12 AM

ok, something is wonky here. I'm the only one who posted a text to my wayward.
no desire to text OW.

do those of you who posted to the AP feel like you have something they don't have? won the spouse or something? I'm not being facetious, just trying to figure something out here...
the fact that he chose me and not them means nothing to me... and maybe it should.

SisterMilkshake posted 10/14/2013 08:18 AM

My "text" to the AP was because I have never directly spoken to it since d-day and never got to tell it myself to fuck off.

Yes, I have a lot of what AP doesn't have. However, I didn't win my spouse, he won me.

the fact that he chose me and not them means nothing to me... and maybe it should
You are right, rachel. It doesn't mean anything because there shouldn't have even been a "choice" in the first place.

cuppacoffee posted 10/14/2013 08:19 AM

Honestly it's because I can talk shit all day to the husband.

He knows he sucks.

She on the other hand- I have not seen her since she came to my house to meet me last December. Like a month after she slept with my husband.

He has not talked to her since D Day.

I can take my anger out on him all of the time.

That's probably bad.

rachelc posted 10/14/2013 08:32 AM

cuppa - ha!

Yes, the first day after DDays I made life excrutiating for the AP's. That was one day. He got a little more than that.

cuppacoffee posted 10/14/2013 08:41 AM

I have to admit when he says something stupid I come back with something that zings him.

He'll say something dumb in just a general dumb ass way about being a sexy man and all the ladies liking him- totally not in regards to an A but more like a man thing for him- and I'll come back with something.
He talks a lot of game but he's so not. He's kind of goofy but I love him.

solus sto posted 10/14/2013 10:26 AM

I didn't post a response to either OW or WH.

But I would imagine that posting to OW is a more natural response because those of us who still have WSs in the home are actually able to speak with them, and therefore don't have the need to write 'unsent texts' to them.

My husband GOT all the thoughts I had, as I had them. OW did not.

Ostrich80 posted 10/14/2013 12:04 PM

But I would imagine that posting to OW is a more natural response because those of us who still have WSs in the home are actually able to speak with them, and therefore don't have the need to write 'unsent texts' to them.

This. _^^^^^^^^^ I don't need to text ws, I see him every day.

cantgetup posted 10/14/2013 19:58 PM

Honestly...I would be embarrassed to ever say a word to OW about something my H did. It would make me look foolish and It would humiliate me. What would she care? It's pointing the gun at the wrong person. I think with he exception of double betrayal situations, telling the AP how you feel about what they did with your S---cringe worthy for me. And for people who feel comfort in the S picking you over AP and telling AP that--I just picture them laughing on the other end of the phone. I couldn't put myself through that. I don't think for a minute OW is jealous of me. She knows more than anyone that not my H didn't think very much of me. To try to paint that as anything else would make me look foolish -- and i have already has my fill of that.

RightTrack posted 10/14/2013 20:27 PM

I texted OW a photo of the bottle of viagra WH got so he could get it up with her.

rachelc posted 10/14/2013 21:09 PM

She knows more than anyone that not my H didn't think very much of me

This!! this is why I can't stand to see them and why I can't even imagine contact with them...

Marathonwaseasy posted 10/15/2013 03:37 AM

Text/letter to AP I would love to send
Fwh gets every thought I have

Dear N. I find it hard to believe anyone is as stupid as you. The special connection you had with my husband was him in the grips of psychosis. Your great love affair was the product of a diseased mind. You were a convenient receptacle he wanked into while he tried to run away from himself. But the fear of losing me was greater than the fear of facing his broken soul. You wasted nearly 2 years of your life and your fading attractions which weren't that great to start with on an emotional and physical affair with a man who was never going to be yours. I bet you feel great now knowing this. How's the self esteem while you wait for the call that's never coming? If you weren't such a skank whore who tried to destroy my children's and my life I'd almost feel sorry for you. I wish you death or better still a life of pain and loneliness. And hey - you got that in spades. Karma is a bitch
Signed R

cantgetup posted 10/15/2013 19:13 PM

My view (which is also a struggle) is that not only do I have zero need to text OW (and just don't understand those who do IRL or virtual) I won't degrade myself by doing so. Fact of the matter is OW, more than anyone on the planet knows I'm married to a cheater. There is nothing envious about that . And she knows it. That is why I don't understand why some BS feel it would make them feel better to tell off the AP and say 'look he picked me over you and I am lucky and you are a loser'. No, not at all. I am not lucky and she knows it. Humiliating. That's me, my situation.

Marathonwaseasy posted 10/15/2013 20:59 PM

Of course you're right.
I received a barrage of insulting deranged texts from ow post dday. I'd love to respond in kind. I rehearse it over and over. I won't do it though
Yes I'm humiliated too
And I'm left with the broken man

cantgetup posted 10/16/2013 06:08 AM

I couldn't imagine being contacted or worse yet harassed by OW. Yea, in that situation I think I would have to be in contact.

Sadwife222 posted 10/16/2013 06:25 AM

My WH's OW said I was married to "the world's biggest liar."

Of course, she's right. No pride in being chosen by a man like that.

ascian posted 10/16/2013 10:04 AM

The only direct communication I've had with the OM since D-Day was to tell him not to do anything stupid.

The OM had been a friend of ours for years, and as pissed as I was post discovery, I didn't want to do anything that would hurt his wife or kids. That wouldn't be fair to them, they weren't the ones who chose to tear apart two marriages and several friendships.

So while I considered e-mailing the guy's CO and reporting the affair (which could mess up his retirement benefits, should they choose to go with a less-than-honorable discharge), or to e-mail his wife all of the information I'd gathered without preamble, or to make public FB posts, or whatever. I chose not to, since that would just hurt friends and kids.

His wife e-mailed me for details, once he'd talked to her, and said he was "in a dark place," so I sent him an e-mail saying that he'd messed up and hurt a lot of people, but not to compound that hurt with a greater one.

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