Me - BH, 44
My XWW and I have been divorced since May and are sharing custody of our three kids (S-11, S-8, D-6)
She's becoming increasingly erratic in her treatment of them, even going so far as to at one point last summer slap our daughter in the face and call her a bitch and tell the kids lies like I abused them and her when they were younger.
Things got so bad I contacted her parents (with whom I have a great, healthy relationship) and told them I was considering filing for custody if things didn't improve. They spoke to their daughter and things got better...for a while.
Yesterday when she dropped the kids off to me she didn't get out of the van - just revved the engine and sped off. The kids came in and said she was REALLY mad and called me and the 11 year old names.
I let it slide at the time, but talked to each kid individually later. Apparently she called the 11 year old a "snitch" because he tells me what she says and does.
When I asked daughter what was said, she said "Mom told me not to tell you". I finally coaxed out of her that she called me a "shithead" and a "piece of shit", that she "hopes (I) die in my sleep" and that if I died she would laugh. Oh, she also told them I "had sex with another woman" (of course, a 100% complete fabrication)
So, yeah...here's the problem: I feel like I'm going to get my kids in deep shit with her and they won't trust me anymore if I bring this stuff up to my XWW or her parents. I want them to be able to tell me what's going on if it's bothering them, but I don't want them to not trust me if they get retaliation for what they say to me. Does that make sense?
Her - Bi-polar WW, 45
Status: Divorced and relieved