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Skan (original poster member #35812) posted at 6:23 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
I could use a lot of mojo and positive prayers sent my way today. My FWH has a prostrate biopsy today at 3:30. We are both scared, but frankly, he’s terrified. His father died of prostate cancer, his mother of breast cancer. Last year, I had a breast cancer scare, which was just over a year from the time his mother died of it, and this year his eldest sister had breast cancer and underwent a successful surgery for it. He is convinced, unconsciously I believe, that he is going to have cancer as well, We’ve had several heart-rending talks about this fear of dying like his father, his fear of cancer period, his fear of burdening me with his “unreasonable” fear, his allowing the fear to explode into him reacting in old, bad habits, and you name it. It’s been a really stomach-twisting time for us for the last two weeks. Plus his fears of finally having driven me away since I have not committed to staying or going until we get his diagnosis. We are still in an in-house separation, being very supportive of each other, talking often, and being very kind to each other. Sorta living in limbo.
In any case, I would really appreciate your prayers, mojo, positive energy, and so on today and until we get his diagnosis.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 6:28 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Sending prayers along to you and your H
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 6:29 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
I'm in, hoping for a clean biopsy.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 6:32 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Sending prayers and mojo your way. I know how scary this can be.
XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"
emotionalgirl ( member #40184) posted at 6:32 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
(((Skan))) I have been there...my mom had breast cancer my step dad prostate cancer and I had a tumour in my chest wall. I don't think anyone can understand how stressful and scary that wait is!
My thoughts and prayers are with you both!🙏
1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R
Truly ( member #40715) posted at 6:35 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Positive energy flying your way x
There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens
Peaches2013 ( member #40852) posted at 6:36 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Sending good mojo your way.
Me: BS
Him: WH ONS/short EA
Married 11 years
Together 15 years
2 children
PhoenixRising88 ( member #35214) posted at 6:38 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
((((((skan)))))))
Good karma coming at you!
Me: BS(45)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(52). D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/13. Divorced 1/10/14.
New chapter of my life- married 11/13/15 to the man I'd thought I would never find.
Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.
neverdidithink ( member #40568) posted at 6:42 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
(((skan))) Prayers and wishes that the good news is delivered quickly.
BS, 57
M 13 years
second marriage, second WH
4 kids in their 20s
brokendancer7 ( member #39911) posted at 6:44 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Prayers and mojo for you and your husband today!
heartache101 ( member #26465) posted at 6:45 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing
heartache101 ( member #26465) posted at 6:45 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing
Sparkle0504 ( member #40379) posted at 6:46 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Been through this with my first husband - unfortunately results were positive and he was very ill BUT has been in full remission for many years and getting married again soon, so all's well.
It's a horrible time, I know and my heart goes out to you. Not particularly religious but thinking of you both. Stay strong.
(((hugs)))
Caitlin
Me 52 (BS) Him 60 (EXSAWH)
DDay (too many to mention), but 1st 06/2011
I'm done. Separated.
Time is always right, to do right. (Dr Martin Luther King)
Thinkingtoomuch ( member #31765) posted at 6:46 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Prayers on their way, Skan. Good luck. So much stress!
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 6:55 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
(((Skan)))
I'm going to move this to OT for you, so you can get support in the appropriate forum.
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 7:03 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Sending mojo and prayers.
lost_in_toronto ( member #25395) posted at 7:15 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Mojo sent, to you and your FWH.
Me: BS/48
Him: WS/46
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 23 years.
Reconciled.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 7:21 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Mojo on it's way.
((((and strength))))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
catlover50 ( member #37154) posted at 8:02 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Thinking of you both today.
Dday -9/23/2012
Reconciled
Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 8:07 PM on Monday, October 14th, 2013
Good thoughts to you both.
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
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