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Mediation was a Bust...Pretrial Today

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Elaine2012 posted 10/14/2013 13:15 PM

Eight hours of mediation which only figured out what is legally already determined I'm sitting outside the courthouse right now waiting to see what today brings! Mojo please

Nature_Girl posted 10/14/2013 13:19 PM

Mojo, Baby!

MovingUpward posted 10/14/2013 13:19 PM

Sending mojo

devistatedmom posted 10/14/2013 13:26 PM

Chin up Elaine! You've got this! Mojo!!

gma56 posted 10/14/2013 13:36 PM

MOJO !!!!

NewMom0220 posted 10/14/2013 13:44 PM

Major Mojo coming your way.

dmari posted 10/14/2013 13:51 PM

Sending mojo STAT!!!

Elaine2012 posted 10/14/2013 14:44 PM

He is being so unreasonable. Spousal Maintenance is now 1300 less than the mediator set last week came up with last week. It's nit picky stuff all the way.

This judge is making us stay until 4:30 to see what we can make happen. Well nothing if he is offering such an unreasonable amount. I've made so many concession that I'm done and want to just go to trial.

Take2 posted 10/14/2013 16:27 PM

How did it pan out Elaine... update?

LifeIsBroken posted 10/14/2013 16:37 PM

I feel for you, Elaine. Amazing what damage the cheater spouse will create after so many years of M and family. One would think the cheaters would have at least a little remorse for tearing up their family but.... they don't. I really think divorce laws should revert to what they were years ago: the cheater pays for what they've torn up. No 50/50. Assess the damage according to the damage created. Maybe people would think twice if they realized they could lose everything. But, one could also suggest they're already losing everything because they leave their families and don't look back. You would think it would mean more than that. Wondering what happened this afternoon..... were you able to come to some kind of agreement where he actually gives you more of what you've earned during so many years of your marriage ?

Elaine2012 posted 10/14/2013 17:37 PM

Thanks for the mojo and encouragement!

Three hours in court and he upped his offer by a few hundred dollars. And the offer was only good today. My L said she canít decide in 20 min if she can live with this. So now ENE, mediation and pretrial for a total of 13 hours and this is all I have to show for it. The division of property has been decided, except he keeps spending money to ďfixĒ the house and he wants to leave me on the hook for that as well. And the retirement has been decided although Iím not completely sure if I agree with that either.

I have an appointment tomorrow with a financial planner to see if I can get by on my budget. The other thing they did was take things out of my budget and said they were unreasonable. One thing is my tithing Iíve paid tithing for years and feel that is one of the expenses that I wonít compromise on. The other was some CC debt and a student loan that is my DD that I cosigned on and I make payments on.

I feel like Iíve been railroaded along the whole way. Iím tired and just want to give up. I donít have the money to keep spending on L fees. I would like to be able to move on with my life.

Elaine2012 posted 10/14/2013 17:45 PM

LifeIsBroken

I really think divorce laws should revert to what they were years ago: the cheater pays for what they've torn up. No 50/50. Assess the damage according to the damage created. Maybe people would think twice if they realized they could lose everything. But, one could also suggest they're already losing everything because they leave their families and don't look back.

I've had this thought then I wonder if this is how he ended up would I really want to be in a relationship with him just because he didn't want to loose everything financially.

It's so true he has lost the family that we were. Three of my DD's won't speak to him. He now had no relationship with my grandkids. And he hasn't looked back. His loss.

devistatedmom posted 10/16/2013 14:49 PM

Elaine, I hope to heck you don't just give in. I know you are tired, but you need to get what you deserve, and what you need. Don't let him railroad you.

Hope things are brighter today.

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