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Newest Member: Misty33 (46040)

User Topic: Saying goodbye to Mom
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wrote a few months ago that my mom is receiving hospice care. This morning, on the advice of the hospice staff, my dad made the heartbreaking decision to withdraw future feeding and let mom go.

I am spending today sitting by mom's bedside, holding her hand, and reassuring her that it's ok to let go. It may be a week or two before she passes, or this may be my last moments with her. Either way, nothing has been left unsaid, and I am at peace.

Or so I think. My heart has a different opinion, it seems.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26531 | Registered: Aug 2011
Myname
♂ 23138
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry NIK. (((())))


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3156 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
boontje
♀ 33247
Member # 33247
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((NIK))))


Me: BS
Dday: June 2011
Working on R, one day at a time

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
― Ernest Hemingway



Posts: 1065 | Registered: Aug 2011
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK)))


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 53338 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
lost_in_toronto
♀ 25395
Member # 25395
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((nik)))


Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.
Reconciled.

Posts: 1714 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore
woundedby2
♀ 18522
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry, NIK. I was in a similar place 2 years ago.

Enjoy the precious little time you have left to hold her hand.

(((((biggest hugs)))))


Me: BS
2 kids: DD16 and DS19
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7866 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
gma56
♀ 19595
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK and family)))

The heart is never in the same place as what has to be done during such difficult moments. She knows you are there and you love her, that is enough. She's OK because she knows her family loves her and are there with her.
Sending strength and prayers.
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20387 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Exit Wounds
♀ 32811
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((NIK))))) my dad just died so I know what you are going through. May I make a suggestion? Can you tell your mom:"Mom, I forgive you for everything."

I didn't have a chance to tell my dad before he died. But I did tell him afterwards. -I think they need to hear us say it to them. I know they try their best but I bet they feel they let us down at times...


Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK)))

I am so happy that you have been afforded the opportunity to make this lsat bit of time with her peaceful.

((((and peace, and strengthto you and your family))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8899 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Undefinabl3
♀ 36883
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK)))

I get this. It was the same with my grandmothers and while I found questions later, at the time, they knew the important stuff and I knew they loved me, which was really all that mattered.

I still talk to them alot. In the car, on a walk, and in a pinch I just say WWGD?

What would Grama's Do?...cause they were the smartest, sweetest, nicest women you would never want to piss off

I am so sorry this is happening. I am praying for you and your family.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.

Posts: 1833 | Registered: Sep 2012
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ 18449
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((nik)))

Posts: 11792 | Registered: Mar 2008
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ 34602
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((NIK)))) Prayers for the whole family.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 34 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1738 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
ajsmom
♀ 17460
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My prayers for all of you.

I remember these moments with my mom. Truly treasured moments that brought me much peace. My prayer is that is what you experience as well.

(((nik & family)))

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21119 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
MissesJai
♀ 24849
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK)))

I'm glad you are at peace.


FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 6042 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
sinsof thefather
♀ 29295
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((NIK))))

Prayers going up for you and your whole family.


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1904 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
confused615
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((((((NIK))))))))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 8086 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Nik)))

Posts: 36810 | Registered: Mar 2011
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NIK & family)))


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13934 | Registered: Jul 2011
jjsr
♀ 34353
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending good thoughts to you and your parents and family


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1667 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
woundedwidow
♀ 36869
Member # 36869
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My prayers are with you, your Mom, and your family. I wish I had had the chance to say "goodbye" to my Mom; those are such precious moments. (((NIK)))


Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.

Posts: 416 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: VA
Topic Posts: 86
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