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User
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Topic: Saying goodbye to Mom
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nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226 |  Posted: 1:22 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 |     |
I wrote a few months ago that my mom is receiving hospice care. This morning, on the advice of the hospice staff, my dad made the heartbreaking decision to withdraw future feeding and let mom go.
I am spending today sitting by mom's bedside, holding her hand, and reassuring her that it's ok to let go. It may be a week or two before she passes, or this may be my last moments with her. Either way, nothing has been left unsaid, and I am at peace.
Or so I think. My heart has a different opinion, it seems.
You can call me NIK
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Posts: 28280 | Registered: Aug 2011 |
Myname
♂ 23138
Member # 23138 | | Posted: 1:25 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
I'm sorry NIK. (((()))) 
DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S
Posts: 3390 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer. |
boontje
♀ 33247
Member # 33247 | | Posted: 1:26 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
((((NIK))))
Me: BS
Dday: June 2011
Working on R, one day at a time
The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
― Ernest Hemingway
Posts: 1114 | Registered: Aug 2011 |
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866 | | Posted: 1:28 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((NIK)))
AKA Moo
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Posts: 53977 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation |
lost_in_toronto
♀ 25395
Member # 25395 | | Posted: 1:30 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((nik)))
Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.
Reconciled.
Posts: 1734 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore |
woundedby2
♀ 18522
Member # 18522 | | Posted: 1:32 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
I'm so sorry, NIK. I was in a similar place 2 years ago.
Enjoy the precious little time you have left to hold her hand.
(((((biggest hugs)))))
Me: BS
2 kids: DD16 and DS19
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
Posts: 7904 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal |
gma56
♀ 19595
Member # 19595 | | Posted: 1:34 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((NIK and family)))
The heart is never in the same place as what has to be done during such difficult moments. She knows you are there and you love her, that is enough. She's OK because she knows her family loves her and are there with her.
Sending strength and prayers.
Gma
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
Posts: 20395 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be.. |
Exit Wounds
♀ 32811
Member # 32811 | | Posted: 1:37 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((((NIK))))) my dad just died so I know what you are going through. May I make a suggestion? Can you tell your mom:"Mom, I forgive you for everything."
I didn't have a chance to tell my dad before he died. But I did tell him afterwards. -I think they need to hear us say it to them. I know they try their best but I bet they feel they let us down at times...
Posts: 2500 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog. |
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101 | | Posted: 1:38 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((NIK)))
I am so happy that you have been afforded the opportunity to make this lsat bit of time with her peaceful.
((((and peace, and strengthto you and your family))))
Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy
Posts: 9192 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis |
Undefinabl3
♀ 36883
Member # 36883 | | Posted: 1:41 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((NIK)))
I get this. It was the same with my grandmothers and while I found questions later, at the time, they knew the important stuff and I knew they loved me, which was really all that mattered.
I still talk to them alot. In the car, on a walk, and in a pinch I just say WWGD?
What would Grama's Do?...cause they were the smartest, sweetest, nicest women you would never want to piss off 
I am so sorry this is happening. I am praying for you and your family.
Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
Posts: 1906 | Registered: Sep 2012 |
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ 18449
Member # 18449 | | Posted: 1:44 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((nik)))
Posts: 11814 | Registered: Mar 2008 |
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ 34602
Member # 34602 | | Posted: 1:46 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
((((NIK)))) Prayers for the whole family.
Me (BW): 32
WH: 34 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 17 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
Posts: 1759 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey |
ajsmom
♀ 17460
Member # 17460 | | Posted: 1:47 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
My prayers for all of you.
I remember these moments with my mom. Truly treasured moments that brought me much peace. My prayer is that is what you experience as well.
(((nik & family)))
AJ's MOM
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!
Posts: 21163 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back |
MissesJai
♀ 24849
Member # 24849 | | Posted: 1:47 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((NIK)))
I'm glad you are at peace.
FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson
Posts: 6066 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal..... |
sinsof thefather
♀ 29295
Member # 29295 | | Posted: 1:50 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
((((NIK))))
Prayers going up for you and your whole family.
...second star to the right and straight on till morning.
Posts: 1960 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK |
confused615
♀ 30826
Member # 30826 | | Posted: 1:51 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
((((((((((NIK))))))))))
BS(me)42
FWH 46
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Posts: 8623 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana |
jo2love
♀ 31528
Member # 31528 | | Posted: 1:54 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((Nik)))
Posts: 38278 | Registered: Mar 2011 |
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810 | | Posted: 1:56 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
(((NIK & family)))
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
Posts: 14047 | Registered: Jul 2011 |
jjsr
♀ 34353
Member # 34353 | | Posted: 1:56 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
Sending good thoughts to you and your parents and family
Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile
Posts: 1697 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now. |
woundedwidow
♀ 36869
Member # 36869 | | Posted: 2:08 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013 | |
My prayers are with you, your Mom, and your family. I wish I had had the chance to say "goodbye" to my Mom; those are such precious moments. (((NIK)))
Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.
Posts: 448 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: VA |
| Topic Posts: 86 | |
