"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

livebythesea posted 10/14/2013 14:14 PM

It is an embarrassing question, but, I do want to know what your opinion on this is ... H who (according to his story) had 2 ons. Since we've been married that is. During the past 5 years, he has been working away, coming home every 2 months. Stays for about 2 weeks. On the road again.

During his time away, we would talk on the phone every day, sometime our conversations would last over an hour.

He would often tell me "go out, find yourself a boyfriend". Did he mean it, not sure. Was he just testing me, not sure.

This is a man who cheated on me, was a regular viewer of adultfriendfinder. He often asked me if I would be interested in swinging.

What kind of a man does that? Was it just curiosity, not sure. How far did it go? Not sure.

Trying to figure all this out.

Butterfly24 posted 10/14/2013 15:02 PM

My first husband and I married young and he used to say that to me. He would tell me he wanted me to go out and find someone else and what he meant by it was that he no longer wanted to be with me. He used to tell me that we married and had kids too young and that he never got a chance to be single.

Not saying that is what your wh means, it's just what mine meant.

ladies_first posted 10/14/2013 17:07 PM

He would often tell me "go out, find yourself a boyfriend". Did he mean it

Often? Then, yes, I believe he meant it. I he "was a regular viewer of adultfriendfinder," then he subscribed to that lifestyle.

How often do you repeat thing's you don't mean?

Even comics, who have a thick skin if their jokes bomb, don't repeat a failed joke a second time hoping for a chuckle.

I think he was doing a piss-poor job of grooming you to accept the AFF lifestyle.

He often asked me if I would be interested in swinging.

Swinging. Boyfriends for married women.

I think he doesn't have the married mindset, that's what I think.

Take2 posted 10/14/2013 17:09 PM

I think 2 ons sounds an awful lot like, "officer I only had two beers."

eta: given his travel and the comments, that is...

[This message edited by Take2 at 5:10 PM, October 14th (Monday)]

Dallas2 posted 10/14/2013 17:21 PM

I think he had more than two ONS. My H had his A while I was getting set up in our new location. He called me everynight on his way home for work. Never any later and never any earlier. I could probably tell you the first time he stepped over the line. He called at 730 and claimed he had worked late.

The type of man who does that is either cheating, has cheated or going to cheat. He just was hoping he could convince you to stoop to his level so he could face you or even hisself.