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User Topic: First couples counseling appointment in 2 days
megs56
♀ 40791
Member # 40791
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have our 1st couples counseling appointment in 2 days. My boyfriend was very reluctant at first, but slowly seems to be coming around to it.

I am wondering what I should except from our sessions? I have done IC, but never CC. I was thinking of going in and telling our story and stating what I think our issues are (and then he could state his issues). I don't want to dominant the session, but my boyfriend is a lot more quiet than me and I think he is going to have a hard time opening up at first. I've written and talked about our story enough I have it down pretty well. So is it okay if I somewhat take the lead at first?

Are there any specific questions I should ask the therapist? Anything else I should think about before my session? I would love some advice from others who have had successful CC or MC.

Thank you so very much! I am probably over thinking it, but I had a bad therapist at first for IC so I want don't want to waste time in CC with a therapist who isn't working for us. I know everyone and every relationship is different though. :)


Me: BGF - 29
Him: WBF - 32

I broke up with him and now I am trying to heal.

Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie.


Posts: 118 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Sacramento, Ca
unfound
♀ 12802
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The first session will likely be information gathering.

Have specific things you want to work on. Building trust, communication etc... Ask questions on how the counselor works with the issue of infidelity in relationships and what methods they use. Is it religion based, is there homework, books recommended, etc.. ?

Get a good feel for the counselor and the direction you'd like to go with counseling and what you want to get out of it. Make sure you're comfortable. A good counselor will recognize and address if your boyfriend is not participating or if you're dominating the session.

Relax, but remember that you are paying them and it's okay if it's not a good fit.


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14866 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
sisoon
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd ask about experience helping couples deal with infidelity, and how many of this person's clients who want to R actually do R.

Also, does this CC address the A first or general M issues, and does s/he view an A as a symptom of M issues or of dysfunction in the WS.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10570 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
megs56
♀ 40791
Member # 40791
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for your responses. That is all great advice. I feel a little better / more prepared for my session tomorrow. Thanks again! :)


Me: BGF - 29
Him: WBF - 32

I broke up with him and now I am trying to heal.

Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie.


Posts: 118 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Sacramento, Ca
megs56
♀ 40791
Member # 40791
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, October 24th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We've had 2 CC sessions now and both have went well! We both really like the therapist and his approach, so that's really good. It has definitely been helpful. Thank you again for the advice! :)


Me: BGF - 29
Him: WBF - 32

I broke up with him and now I am trying to heal.

Hurt me with the truth, but never comfort me with a lie.


Posts: 118 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Sacramento, Ca
Topic Posts: 5

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