I see my doctor Thursday, I'm going to talk to him about some ADs as well as sleeping and anxiety meds. I'm not sure how well that's going to go considering I'm still breastfeeding a 7mo. I'm going to have him refer me to an IC to better manage.
How do I get passed the anger? Some days I think I'm in acceptance and ready to move forward then the others (more often than not) I'm so angry. Angry at him for betraying me beyond belief. Angry at the OW for being so aggressive and not having enough self respect to keep her hands to her own fiance. Angry that in an instant my life went from good to terrible all bc of his CHOICE to step out on our marriage and kids as well.
I'm angry that I allow myself to go to such sad places and then ruin my whole day. I'm angry that all of a sudden NOW hes making strides so I can once again be a SAHM but now I don't want to rely on him financially and all I want to be is a SAHM. I was able to stay home with my older three and I want so badly to be home 24/7 with my youngest, I feel hes being deprived of me, and I'm angry that his efforts to allow me to do that are "too little too late".
I'm so angry at EVERYTHING almost all the time. I think I want this to work then I don't feel hes helping me much so then I get angry. When I feel sadness I get angry. Everything seems to come back full circle to his infidelity, EVERYTHING, and its making me sick to be so damn angry all the time.
How do I get passed this???