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He's having me watched

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stupidstupidme posted 10/15/2013 10:36 AM

My court case began in 2009, and in Aug 2010, I was awarded sole legal custody of Bunt. We share physical custody.

I always knew he would never "settle" for that, and I was right.

I have neighbors that are good friends of mine. I have another neighbor that we all call either "he-man" or "Dbag". He-man has a son that is in the same class as the Bunt. They went to the Bday party that FT threw for Bunt, and guess they got to talking, and FT asked He-man to watch me...

He-man stupidly told the neighbor that I am good friends with all about it, and that he is spying on me for FT, because FT fully intends to take me back to court to get the Bunt.

No shocker... I'll never forget his words of "I will stop at NOTHING to get my son from you"

Bunt is seven... so let's see... I only have... 11 more years of always looking over my shoulder. So much fun.

Nature_Girl posted 10/15/2013 11:24 AM

Is your neighbor willing to sign a statement and have it notarized about what was said?

Williesmom posted 10/15/2013 11:34 AM

At some point, Bunt's desires will come into play here also. What an asshole.

stupidstupidme posted 10/15/2013 11:35 AM

The neighbor that I'm friends with will absolutely testify if that's what it comes to.

I would also subpoena He-man and have him asked on the stand if he was approached and "hired" or asked by FT to obtain "dirt". That won't look good.

The thing is, I'm a great mom. He's fishing in an empty pond.

Gr8Lady posted 10/15/2013 12:50 PM

How does that make you feel?
It is aggravating to me that you are a caring responsible mom and he feels the need to watch you.
Nonsense....let him watch he will see how parenting should be done.
In the best interest of the child,

Snapdragon posted 10/15/2013 13:44 PM

Good gravy! What is your ex expecting the neighbor to see? Wild parties? You beating Bunt out in the driveway? You getting drunk and passing out on the front lawn every night? Sheesh

See, the thing is... with an ex like yours he will never stop trying to get the upper hand. Even after Bunt turns 18 he will still do the same thing. Only then it will be to pressure Bunt for primary allegiance. Every holiday will become a contest. Every big event will require that Bunt put his father in a place of getting attention and credit. It won't ever end with someone like him. I'm sorry for that.

stupidstupidme posted 10/15/2013 13:46 PM

Very true... breaks my heart for my son

sparkysable posted 10/15/2013 14:20 PM

Unfortunately, I don't think there is much that you can do about it. He can "watch" you all he wants, but honestly, or ask others to "watch" you for him, but anyone can look at anyone and anywhere they want, as long as they aren't breaking the law, tresspassing, entering your home, etc.

My XWH and the OW "watch" me all the time, drive by all the time, I have pictures of XWH sitting on the sidestreet "watching" my house. There isn't a damn thing I can do about it until they break the law, and according to the law, they can drive down any street they choose, they can park on any sidestreet they want to.

I hate it, I want to move, but I'm kind of stuck in my house right now.

Let them look. There's nothing to see.

tushnurse posted 10/15/2013 14:29 PM


You do an amazing job with a kiddo that requires so much added extra attention, and work. He couldn't even begin to handle what you do.
Bunt is with you because he is supposed to be. Let him watch, maybe he will learn something, I doubt it, but we can hope.

Hang in there, and just smile and wave.

5454real posted 10/15/2013 14:40 PM

I only have... 11 more years of always looking over my shoulder.


He's fishing in an empty pond.

Live your life to the best of your ability. Enjoy it without looking over your shoulder, the view to the front is so much better. Especially without FT in the view. Don't give him the head space.

Short of you beating your son or becoming a drug addict, the possibility of a judge reversing custody is slight.


stupidstupidme posted 10/15/2013 16:05 PM

Older members here know - I had a horrific experience with him, and him taking my son and holding him hostage. The lies, the threats... Unfortunately when this stuff comes up (and it always does eventually), my PTSD kicks in and that old fear surfaces... luckily though, I quickly gain logical perspective - but thank you for the reminders.

5454real posted 10/15/2013 16:17 PM

For that, I am truly sorry. Were there no legal ramifications for his behavior? Hell that incident alone should preclude any legal attempt at getting custody changed.

No protective order?

My advice remains. Yes with the caveat that you can't control FT's actions. You need to show Bunt how to enjoy life though.

Sending strength and much Mojo.

thebighurt posted 10/15/2013 17:32 PM

I'm so sorry. I am dealing with the same thing as sparkysable, only we have no children/custody issues. We have been D over a yr and a half and he/they drive by several times a week and sit in the road at the end of the driveway. Now I've noticed another vehicle I don't know doing the same. If it's meant to make me feel threatened or harassed, it's working.

Like 545, I'm amazed there weren't consequences from his previous actions like the court denying unsupervised visitation. Was the law involved? Unbelievable!

((((Ssm))). Let them watch and maybe learn what he should be doing.

Catwoman posted 10/15/2013 18:01 PM

Damn, don't you wish you had a good looking male friend with a tuxedo and a Maserati?

Seriously, I would have some fun with this. He is going to get absolutely nowhere, but wouldn't it be a hoot to help him get there?

My ex has intermittently watched my abode for years. I have always wanted to find a friend who was willing to leave his high end car in my drive for a few days.


thebighurt posted 10/15/2013 18:08 PM

LOL, catwoman, I have someone who wants to leave his vehicle in my driveway for the next month. He knows xpos is driving by all the time. There have already been "strange " vehicles in my driveway overnight on a few occasions...... just sayin'.

Gemini71 posted 10/15/2013 23:44 PM

To those being 'watched' by their Xs, wouldn't anti-stalking laws apply? Or am I just being naive.

sparkysable posted 10/16/2013 08:52 AM

To those being 'watched' by their Xs, wouldn't anti-stalking laws apply? Or am I just being naive.
I wish. The thing is, XWH and OW aren't threatening me. They just "happen" to drive down the street

For me, it's even worse because XWH and OW work for the town PD, and at times, these drive-by's just happen to occur in their work vehicles, while they're working. They just happen to be driving back from a call in the area . I can't do a damn thing. I wanted to text them and be like "are there no other streets you can drive down in this town?" But I don't want to feed their egos.

stupidstupidme posted 10/16/2013 11:35 AM

I agree... it made me angry and scared (for no reason except old PTSD creeping up), but yeah... I think I'll just have some fun.

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