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Newest Member: moonstonebeach (46005)

User Topic: WW misses deadlines?
Abbondad
♂ 37898
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi,

Yesterday was the deadline for my STBXWW's responsive pleading.

Today is the deadline for her financial disclosure.

Nothing has been submitted as yet.

What could happen? Might her attorney simply file for an extension? Or could she truly end up in default? In that case, what could be the result?

I know I'm getting my hopes up here, but... Just curious.

(I'm not surprised; she is utterly irresponsible and never gets anything in on time.)


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1692 | Registered: Dec 2012
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your best bet for answers on this would be to get your attorney's advice. It probably all comes down to what the judge will allow to happen.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 53296 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My STBX delayed responding with his financial disclosure for over a year. In fact, we were still getting info from him ON THE MORNING OF OUR FRIGGIN' DIVORCE TRIAL!!!

No sanctions against him for this. Nothing. Nothing but a bigger bill for ME to pay because my attorney had to work so hard to try and force STBX to come up with his side of the paperwork.

Don't get your hopes up that this means anything other than nothing.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10126 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
crisp
♂ 34236
Member # 34236
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In court settings there are many deadlines. Some are very important and inflexible. For instance, if you miss an appeal deadline you are all done. In your instance, your attorney may file motions for default--or the like, but the Court will allow a late filing for this type of situation. There is even a specific rule for setting aside defaults. Your attorney can guide you here and speed this up. The courts will not allow repeated and lengthy delays if your attorney keeps her feet to the fire.

[This message edited by crisp at 12:57 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)]


Endeavor to persevere. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csEzTwKemwY

Posts: 465 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: NE US
Abbondad
♂ 37898
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the responses.

Her attorney will submit the pleading tomorrow. And there was a mix-up on the financial disclosures. WW still has two weeks.

My A spoke with her A. They are doing disclosures on me and want an appraisal of our home.

I don't know why, but I am feeling very anxious about this (probably mundane detail) and in anticipation of her response. I expect it to be full of outrageous lies.

My sense is that WW "reasons" that if she cannot move back in, then I should not have the house. If it comes to it, I will sell the house--anything to minimize my connection to her.

But at least wheels are in motion, slow though they may grind.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1692 | Registered: Dec 2012
Thefly559
♂ 40268
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Abbondad. My stbxww did the exact same thing. She even got caught lying and not disclosing all her hidden bank accounts and safe deposit boxes. All her financials they let her resubmit. No offense to the lovely ladies on here but the system is crazy especially where I am. There were no consequences for her actions as of now but we will see after next court date. And trial.


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 733 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
Bringiton
♀ 40984
Member # 40984
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my experience letters from my attorney go out to his attorney with a 20-30 day deadline with the threat of taking him to court to compel him to answer.

With him paying my attorney fees should it go to that extreme. So far he has dodged going to court but it was a last minute occurrence.

Been paying my lawyer 500 a month for the last couple months. I think my credit lit is 2,500 not sure what I will do then.

Discovery cost me 900. That totally sucked. Hang in there.


Be brave. Believe in your goodness and don't ever give up.

Posts: 20 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: N. E. P. A.
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

STBX lied on his financials, lied on the USD (or whatever it's called), lied on the stand under oath.

It doesn't matter in family court. There seems to be no expectation in family court for truth, nor are there consequences for perjury.

I'm just letting you know in advance. I certainly was stunned when I learned this the hard way.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10126 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Shockleader
♂ 36827
Member # 36827
Default  Posted: 8:37 PM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would have been D 6 mo ago, but POS cheater bitch WILL NOT complete the QDRO she agreed to and signed in the separation agreement... So now I wait, and it's costing me $$$$... I'm so sick of of POS bitch and every thing she has done to be a complete lying sack of shit throughout this entire process.

Good luck dad, it only gets worse in my experience with these nasty, remorseless, vindictive types... Fuck-em.


D-Day spring 2012
Me BS 47
Xcheater 44
One DD 19
Married 23 years
Divorced 12/23/13 Fu*king A!

The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...


Posts: 653 | Registered: Sep 2012
Abbondad
♂ 37898
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 5:30 AM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, Everyone.

Breaking my promise to myself to think any though that begins with "Why would she/did she/can she," since figuring these people out is useless and I want to be past that...

Still, why would she drag her feet and draw this out? Most of you know my story. And know that she wanted to continue eating cake. She never wanted the divorce. Is this, as Shockleader indicate, pure vindictiveness? Payback for actually following through with my promise to divorce her?

Why not just let me go if she has that much anger toward her? But it is bizarre behavior, for occasional hoovering still occurs. Within twenty-four hours she was threatening me and then called me "honey," as though we are "still married."

I want to be free from her. I fear I never will be.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1692 | Registered: Dec 2012
Shockleader
♂ 36827
Member # 36827
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dad, as you have found out there is no rhyme or reason other than because they can, and I really believe in some way they are truly disordered. I still have emails where my POS keeps complaining about me dragging things out, I just want you the "fuck out of my life", etc...

Same person who thumbs their nose at the court, missed court deadlines, openly lied (attorney stated with her signature that I had not worked for 23 years, despite me having a stack of W2's/tax returns), her attorney who for almost a month did not return my attorneys emails/calls about the QDRO... She could have been "rid" of me many months ago.

These WW are a cowardly, selfish, NASTY scourge, set out to do nothing but feed their needs, throwing us aside like garbage. I LOVE that I am fully detached, and I can't wait till like me, if you choose, that a real women enters your life... It will give you clarity and perspective of just how fucked up your POS WW is! Continued good luck and strength sent!


D-Day spring 2012
Me BS 47
Xcheater 44
One DD 19
Married 23 years
Divorced 12/23/13 Fu*king A!

The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...


Posts: 653 | Registered: Sep 2012
5454real
♂ 37455
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still, why would she drag her feet and draw this out? Most of you know my story. And know that she wanted to continue eating cake. She never wanted the divorce.

AD, in the land of skittle shitting unicorns, she may be thinking that the D isn't through yet. She can still talk you out of it. Don't be surprised if she re-approaches you with R talk. A couple of incidents stick out.

In her state? Who knows. Pointless exercise. Deal with the reality.

Strength


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 21(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 3285 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Pass
♂ 38122
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Why would she/did she/can she"

There is only one answer to any question that begin that way: "I am divorcing a piece of shit who only cares about herself/himself".

Unfortunately, it doesn't go deeper than that.

[This message edited by pass at 11:37 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)]


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2157 | Registered: Jan 2013
realitybites
♀ 6908
Member # 6908
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Most of you know my story. And know that she wanted to continue eating cake.

You answered your own question. Because she still wants both. She wants you to go back to the way it was and she wants the OM. Not unusual that the WS sometimes wants both.

What you did is take a stand and say that YOU don't want both. She feels by dragging this out that somehow things will change and be OK in her mind. Not reality but just the way it is.

So don't be surprised by this. Some WS walk away and some don't want to. What it means to eat cake as you know is that they want both the affair and the safety net at home. That is how delusional they get when deep in the A.


Posts: 5705 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida
Abbondad
♂ 37898
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, everyone,

Monday was WW's deadline to respond to my petition. Monday her attorney's office was closed. Yesterday he told my A he would send the response today.

Nothing. I spent all day in anxiety and suspense. I need to let go of it.

Meanwhile I have to offer my parenting plan and my reasons for majority custody as part of my interrogatories. After all these months, I find myself paralyzed. I have until Wednesday to submit it. I just can't seem to get started.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1692 | Registered: Dec 2012
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry, man. I've felt that paralysis as well. After all the time that passes, it's hard to force yourself to leave the protective little world in your head and start putting it in black & white permanent decree language.

It sucks because we want to be divorced, but we don't want to lose any time with our children.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10126 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dad- she is selfish and does what she wants, when she wants, because she wants it.

ex-shat is like this too. There's no rhyme or reason that logical, fully-functioning adults can perceive.

I have asked why many times...the answer always seems to involve the word 'selfish.'
Fuck them.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4819 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Kajem
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:59 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dad, you can ask all you want and may never get the answer. Does it matter?

After all these years, I have figured out that my XH has a plan-if I want it-he's against it! It can be something wonderful for our kids, if I am for it-he's against it.

I pretend to be indifferent to so many things for my firs sake. It makes life easier.

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5732 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Abbondad
♂ 37898
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After all these years, I have figured out that my XH has a plan-if I want it-he's against it! It can be something wonderful for our kids, if I am for it-he's against it.

Yes, Kajem--exactly! She has morphed into this utter contrarian: If I want it, she does not--even if it clearly benefits the kids. And god help me against her wrath if I point this out!

Childish behavior: "No!" Like a petulant, vindictive two-year-old. This is why I have taken to the silent treatment--ignoring her rants as I would my children when they threw a tantrum.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1692 | Registered: Dec 2012
Topic Posts: 19

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