Start with a lawyer and don't get a job unless the lawyer tells you to. Do not list the house! Who says you are leaving? Your WH? To hell with what he says. What he wants and says is totally irrelevant now. Don't do anything until you have got good legal advice.
If you have been a SAHM then that may work to your advantage financially, it depends on your state laws. You will probably ask for spousal support.
Get a tough, smart, experienced attorney who is familiar with the judges in your county. You can go to more than one - also that stops your husband consulting them.
Do NOT tell your husband you are seeing a lawyer.
The lawyer will tell you what documents you will need so you don't want to give your WH time to hide them.
Don't believe anything your WH says about being reasonable and fair to you. You are in a fight now, make no mistake about. All his entitlement issues are about to be transferred to $$$
But you will get through this and in my case I have found it very liberating. Keep posting, this place is amazing.