The rule of thumb for recovering from being betrayed is 2-5 years after the last big hurt. So it's early to put it to bed - in all probability, your body and brain just aren't ready yet.
The questions, I think, stem from a desire to understand what happened to us, to be able to put our life into a coherent story. That doesn't really happen, but the questions do put the WS on the spot. If she answers honestly, she builds trust and helps R. If she doesn't, she builds distrust and makes R impossible - until and unless she changes.
So I asked and advocate asking a lot of Qs starting on D-Day (and I went on asking Qs for 2+ years). Give the WS a chance to show she has become honest, after being so dishonest during the A.
I never could limit my Qs to a time and place. I continue to ask whenever I decide I want an answer. This approach works well for me, and I'm the one who counts here. A scheduled approach works for others. I do it orally. (I wouldn't be surprised if my W worked out some difficult answers in writing and then turned them into oral answers.) Written Qs and maybe written answers work for others. The right way to ask is the way that works for you.
But if you want a subject to be addressed, your WS can't read your mind, so you have to ask your Qs.
If an answer would cause me to D, I want to know ASAP. That's why I think it's essential to ask a question if the answer could be a deal breaker. The scarier the question, the more important it is to ask it.
You can talk about how to ask here, in IC, in MC, whatever. You can ask in MC. Your WS may want to hold back an answer until an MC session; that's OK IMO. (It worked for us for some questions that scared my W.) But if you ask a Q, your WS better answer it honestly if she wants to further R.
Sometime in the 2nd year (maybe 15 months out), I started moderating my questions. At that point, I began asking a Q only if I had a positive outcome in mind. Now I still have questions, but I don't ask them until I know why I want to ask them.
JMO, but if you've got Qs, ask 'em.