The past few months had been going well. I was feeling better and letting go. Then, 2 weeks ago WS went in to work and came home in a bad mood (he works one week on, one week off). That entire week he was in a bad mood and would get angry about trivial things. I asked what was up, but he had no answers. He's been distant and easily angered since then. This has triggered me as I am reminded of how things were during the EA and PA. Essentially, I find myself pushing away, wanting nothing to do with him. I feel a wedge between us--something is off but he says he's just tired (he works 3rd shift, the OW works the same week, but works 2nd shift on a different floor). Is the affair recovery honeymoon over? Has the OW made contact with him again? Ug! I've tried talking to him about it but he just says he's tired from work, and that people get mad at each other. Unfortunately, when he gets angry my mind wanders towards negative thoughts about what is going on = trigger.
Meanwhile, I find myself avoiding him and pushing away, which isn't good for reconciling or our 3 kids. Ug!
Was there a change in your husband's schedule at all or did he work that same schedule the entire past few months? Did he take any vacation time that might have made things easier for a period of time?
It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown
Is there any way to ask him to help you verify that there has been no broken NC to help ease some of your fears? Is he in the habit of helping you verify if you need or want it?
Hopefully, in time, you guys can work on a different kind of communication so he can find a way to reassure you regardless of whether he's having a hard time at work. It can't be easy having his bad mood triggering you and in turn you needing to distance yourself. Maybe you can work on a way to come back together during those stressful times.
Wishing you two a better week, starting today.