We would have discussions every few days. In between there was HB and improved closeness. Finally at 5 months I got the narrative, after some pushing. It was pages long and went back to his childhood and detailed all the whys that he was aware of, as well as his feelings all along about me, OW, etc.
That was a turning point. I still read that every now and then. We still had (and have) work to do, but that was what I was "waiting" for. He continues to grow and change, as do I.
Good luck to you.
I agree that you need to keep digging. It is early yet. You'll get there!
[This message edited by heartbrokeninaz at 8:34 AM, October 16th (Wednesday)]
Absolutely enjoy the good days, and work hard to get through the rough ones.