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cantaccept (original poster member #37451) posted at 7:27 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
Absolutely nothing new. I just hurt. I feel insane.
How can this hurt so bad for so long???
How is this depth of pain possible???
Dday anti is Monday. The day he walked out on me. Left me for her. A stranger. Left me for nothing.
Trying to work and suffering. Trying not to vent on customers. I just don't even feel like me today. Holding back the screams.
"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie
TheAmazingWondertwin ( member #40769) posted at 7:41 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
Just wanted you to know that you have been heard.
Take deep breaths, cry in the bathroom if you need to. It's okay to feel this way, even though I know it's hard.
This feeling will pass- and be replaced by a new and even crazier one possibly- but you will make it through the day.
I'm rooting for you. Tomorrow is a new day.
Hugs to you.
Just call me Wonder
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
The axe "forgets"- the tree remembers.
Divorced and super good with tha
2 DS- 15 and 16
DDay 1- 07-24-2013
DDay 2- June something or other 2017
SpiderGrl ( member #40157) posted at 7:47 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
I'm sorry you are fighting terrible memories and feelings. If you can carve out a few minutes scribe out a rough paragraph of rants. It may help alleviate the pressure. Big hugs!!
Me 36- BW
Him 37- WH 6 month EA pushing PA.
DDAY- 7/2/13
Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. -Gandhi
Pls forgive weird sentences and spelling mistakes, I post from my phone and autocorrect hates me.
learningtofeel ( member #39543) posted at 7:55 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
(((((cantaccept)))))
I hope you are able to let the feelings exist. And know that we hear you and we get it. You are not alone.
M 1989
3 young adult kids
D-Day 4.13.13
WS (him): 7 OW over 15 years
BS (me): had no clue
D-Day 2: 10.19.19, OW#8, a co-worker
Told him I was DONE
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 11:08 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
I just hurt. I feel insane.
Yup. We all know; now you do, too. Take deep breaths, feel your feelings, know that you're very sane indeed.
How can this hurt so bad for so long??? How is this depth of pain possible???
I keep telling myself I can't feel joy unless I can also feel pain. And the reason this hurts so bad is that I loved so well - and giving love is as important as receiving it.
These messages help some, but the real pain-killer is, paradoxically, just to feel the pain, which lets it go.
Hang in - you'll probably feel at least some relief on Monday.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
cantaccept (original poster member #37451) posted at 11:57 PM on Wednesday, October 16th, 2013
Thanks all, I guess I really am over the top today, started a new thread and never even looked back here.
Work was awful, it did not go unnoticed. Not a good thing when the crazies show.
I think maybe time of year combined with conversation with h this morning and lots of time driving were not good.
I like,"it hurts so bad because I loved so well"
That hurts too though, I keep thinking he didn't cheat because I did not love well enough, he cheated because he did not love well enough.
"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie
heartache101 ( member #26465) posted at 12:05 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
If it helps it is also who they are working around too. If the people have no morals your spouse will eventually have none too. It is an epidemic. Sad..
But my spouse says he is a different person now. What does that really mean? I see the same person. Just now he has a label CHEATER. That label will always be there. but he doesnt see himself like that 
There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing
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