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cantaccept posted 10/16/2013 13:27 PM

Absolutely nothing new. I just hurt. I feel insane.

How can this hurt so bad for so long???

How is this depth of pain possible???

Dday anti is Monday. The day he walked out on me. Left me for her. A stranger. Left me for nothing.

Trying to work and suffering. Trying not to vent on customers. I just don't even feel like me today. Holding back the screams.

TheAmazingWondertwin posted 10/16/2013 13:41 PM

Just wanted you to know that you have been heard.
Take deep breaths, cry in the bathroom if you need to. It's okay to feel this way, even though I know it's hard.
This feeling will pass- and be replaced by a new and even crazier one possibly- but you will make it through the day.
I'm rooting for you. Tomorrow is a new day.
Hugs to you.

SpiderGrl posted 10/16/2013 13:47 PM

I'm sorry you are fighting terrible memories and feelings. If you can carve out a few minutes scribe out a rough paragraph of rants. It may help alleviate the pressure. Big hugs!!

learningtofeel posted 10/16/2013 13:55 PM

(((((cantaccept)))))

I hope you are able to let the feelings exist. And know that we hear you and we get it. You are not alone.

sisoon posted 10/16/2013 17:08 PM

I just hurt. I feel insane.

Yup. We all know; now you do, too. Take deep breaths, feel your feelings, know that you're very sane indeed.

How can this hurt so bad for so long??? How is this depth of pain possible???

I keep telling myself I can't feel joy unless I can also feel pain. And the reason this hurts so bad is that I loved so well - and giving love is as important as receiving it.

These messages help some, but the real pain-killer is, paradoxically, just to feel the pain, which lets it go.

Hang in - you'll probably feel at least some relief on Monday.

cantaccept posted 10/16/2013 17:57 PM

Thanks all, I guess I really am over the top today, started a new thread and never even looked back here.

Work was awful, it did not go unnoticed. Not a good thing when the crazies show.

I think maybe time of year combined with conversation with h this morning and lots of time driving were not good.

I like,"it hurts so bad because I loved so well"

That hurts too though, I keep thinking he didn't cheat because I did not love well enough, he cheated because he did not love well enough.

heartache101 posted 10/16/2013 18:05 PM

If it helps it is also who they are working around too. If the people have no morals your spouse will eventually have none too. It is an epidemic. Sad..
But my spouse says he is a different person now. What does that really mean? I see the same person. Just now he has a label CHEATER. That label will always be there. but he doesnt see himself like that