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foreverempty posted 10/16/2013 14:28 PM

So I've been in the job now for a little over 6 months.

A lot has happened in that time including splitting up with SO from last year.

It seems I've caused a little bit of a stir in work which is great for the ego.

Not sure what to do about it though as I get the feeling that progressing work based relationships are never a good idea.

Anyway, there's 2 currently fighting for my attention quite literally and apparently at least one other who is hoping I'll notice their interest and reciprocate.

Not sure how to play this though. One is a little older than me 5ish at least and the other is about 12 years younger.

There's also another who started here last week, a graduate manager who is also 10 years my junior but is pretty heavily flirting with me whenever the opportunity arises, always going out of the way to see me when I'm in.

So here's where I need some advice. How do I play this? Here's the choices in more detail.

Suitor No.1 Mid 40's self confessed practicing Witch, still lives with ExSO who says she's mental and won't move out apparently, very over weight and a little light on hair in places. Told me several times she'd happily sleep with me if I'm interested and brings me home made cakes and cookies into work. Always sexual innuendos at every opportunity. Very sweet. Remembered my name from when I worked here 8 years ago!

Suitor No.2 HE is a 25 year old gay male part timer employee on a fashion course at Uni!
Suggests that as I obviously have it in for women, that I "should stop being a veggie and join him as a meat eater" yes he did say exactly that to me. Constantly tells me how lovely I look and asks where I've been if I take a day off. Suggests we should go out some time and "hang out"

Suitor No.3 Newly employed graduate trainee girl aged 27. Very polite, pretty, looks after herself but not too much to be overly vain. Turns out she's bisexual but is currently single and looking at her options......

So there we have it.

What's your thoughts on this one then? Happily take your guidance as I'm overwhelmed with choices here....!!!

[This message edited by foreverempty at 4:02 PM, October 16th (Wednesday)]

nowiknow23 posted 10/16/2013 14:34 PM

Dude? None of the above. Never, ever at the workplace. Ever.

Period.

End of story.

I'm sure the ego enjoys the strokes, but in my opinion, there's no good move other than a universal, across-the-board, FIRM no dating at work policy.

ajsmom posted 10/16/2013 14:36 PM

The only choice is to back off of all of them.

Know what I smell here with my decades of HR experience?

PROBLEMS. Big huge ones.

There has got to be another conduit to meeting people for you.

AJ's MOM

Williesmom posted 10/16/2013 14:37 PM

I hope that you are totally being facetious with your post.

But, if you're not.....

Have the buffet - a little bit of each one!

And then quit your job, because you should never dip your pen in the company ink.

hill posted 10/16/2013 14:39 PM

7yrsflushed posted 10/16/2013 14:41 PM

What everyone above me said. This has code of conduct violation, contact HR, EEO, lawsuit, get fired written all over it.

Look for romantic prospects outside of your workplace. It' may be great while it's good but it's over it's not pretty.

cmego posted 10/16/2013 14:45 PM

Sounds like you have your hands full!

I have a feeling this is all in jest, but in the off chance it isn't....don't dip your pen in the company ink.

OLD should be just as entertaining, if not more.

She11ybeanz posted 10/16/2013 14:52 PM

I hope that you are totally being facetious with your post.
But, if you're not.....

Have the buffet - a little bit of each one!

And then quit your job, because you should never dip your pen in the company ink.

AGREED!

Catwoman posted 10/16/2013 15:30 PM

Work is not an all-you-can-handle dating buffet.

My opinion? None of the above. Keep your private life private and you won't be the subject of gossip, speculation and possibly scorn and derision. I have seen first hand people who have been pushed aside for advancement and such because of the sloppy way their private life is conducted at work.

Cat

foreverempty posted 10/16/2013 15:45 PM

Appreciate the feedback ladies.....

Unfortunately for me, all of the above is 100% fact. None of it is made up.

It all puts a smile on my face but relax in the knowledge that I am 100% not interested in becoming involved in either

a. A 45 year old practicing Witch
b. A 25 year old gay male
c. A 27 year old bi-sexual girl

Even if all of the above were outside of work it would still be a no.

I'm neither desperate, gay or bisexual.... But hey, maybe I'm being too picky!

I am a 100% no relationships in work kinda guy. Far too messy and if I did and split up I'd have to leave here as if never cope with working with them after!

I have told all of them I'm not interested in dating at all and that I'm most definitely not gay.

I believe this has upped the stakes with them and their efforts in changing my mind.

This place is full of interesting characters but it pays the mortgage!

A little worried some of you thought I may be interested in a Gay, bisexual or dominatrix/hedonism/bloodbath sacrifice type relationship. thanks

Anyway. They are all nice enough but am keeping at arms length and maintaining professionalism where possible.

Jrazz posted 10/16/2013 15:56 PM

***Posting as a member***

Turns out she's bisexual (greedy)

I know you likely said this in jest but my feelings were hurt. I'm historically bisexual (married a man and I'm quite secure in that choice), and I only ever dated one person at a time.

That leaves the rest of humanity open, by my accounts.

foreverempty posted 10/16/2013 16:01 PM

Jrazz, indeed in jest given the tone of the rest of the post but take your point and happily apologise for any offense and have removed.

Jrazz posted 10/16/2013 16:05 PM

No worries. Thanks for hearing me out.

Sad in AZ posted 10/16/2013 17:17 PM

Ahem:

dominatrix/hedonism/bloodbath sacrifice type

does not equal witch either.

You seem to be a little overwrought...

GabyBaby posted 10/16/2013 17:32 PM

Dude? None of the above. Never, ever at the workplace. Ever.
Period.

End of story.

I'm sure the ego enjoys the strokes, but in my opinion, there's no good move other than a universal, across-the-board, FIRM no dating at work policy.

This x 1,000

foreverempty posted 10/16/2013 17:51 PM

dominatrix/hedonism/bloodbath sacrifice type
does not equal witch either.

Indeed it doesn't but she is also into a little of all of the above as she was telling me today.

This was supposed to be a light hearted jokey type post based on some of the encounters I'm experiencing at work. A bit like the OLD type posts that pop up here regularly.

I'm not judging anyone and actually get on well with all involved in the above but was just sat in work twiddling my thumbs and thought it may be a little amusing to share here as it's all part of what keeps my day bright.

Some seem to have got the context of the post and had a smile along with me.

gardenparty posted 10/16/2013 20:50 PM

It is good to keep a sense of humour when you re-enter into the dating scene for sure. I am not as against co-workers dating as some but I have never worked in an office so maybe it is different in that environment.

better4me posted 10/16/2013 23:42 PM

I read this and said "He's kidding, right?" Glad you were being tongue in cheek here Foreverempty (and that at no time were there ever tongues in anyone else's cheeks or in any parts other than cheeks!)

[This message edited by better4me at 11:43 PM, October 16th (Wednesday)]

lieshurt posted 10/17/2013 08:29 AM

foreverempty, I can't believe anybody took your post seriously.

[This message edited by lieshurt at 8:29 AM, October 17th (Thursday)]

She11ybeanz posted 10/17/2013 09:06 AM

Work is not an all-you-can-handle dating buffet.
My opinion? None of the above. Keep your private life private and you won't be the subject of gossip, speculation and possibly scorn and derision. I have seen first hand people who have been pushed aside for advancement and such because of the sloppy way their private life is conducted at work.

I totally agree Cat! I think Williesmom was being facetious and was not serious about that comment! I would never date someone I worked with. Period. And, I don't think that foreverempty would even date these characters OUT of work, much less at work! YIKES!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 9:08 AM, October 17th (Thursday)]

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