About a month ago, I asked WH to refrain from looking at photos of naked women online. This is something I had never made a big deal about in the past, and we had an ongoing argument about it for a few days before he finally seemed to understand why it bothers me so much now and he agreed he would stop. Things have been good and getting better since then, and I thought we've been making awesome progress.
Then last night I looked at the internet history on his phone, and discovered that on his lunch break yesterday he looked at numerous photos of topless women online. I confronted him about it, and his immediate reaction was to try to blow smoke up my ass until he realized that he couldn't really deny it. Then his strategy shifted to minimizing, saying he's sorry that my feelings are hurt but he thinks it's ridiculous for me to get mad about something so dumb.
I personally feel like it is NOT "dumb" for me to get angry when my husband breaks a promise that he knew was very important to me. I also am having fricking deja vu, because this is exactly the way he acted when I discovered his activities with the first two OW. (Minimizing, no evidence of PA so I was making something out of nothing, etc.)
I am sick to death of going round and round with him about this crap. If he has no intention of refraining from looking at that crap, then DON'T PROMISE ME. Just because you think you won't get caught DOES NOT MAKE IT OKAY TO BREAK YOUR PROMISES!!!
He thinks I'm being ridiculous, but for me this is just a huge blow to the trust we were just starting to rebuild. He feels he has been doing really well because (according to him) he has not been flirting with his coworkers anymore - somebody give this man a gold star.