Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, pack your shit and get out.
Fool me twice, now what?!?!
They will also be able to tell you what is expected of custody. In my state, I was hoping for the dad gets every other weekend thing. Turns out my state prefers 50/50 and no less than 60/40 unless there are very dire circumstances to prevent it with lots of documentation to prove it. The only way to go otherwise was for dad to sign over parental rights.
Go in with what would be your ideal shared custody would be, and ask what you need to do to achieve that or as close as you can.
You will need to ask about what to do with your accounts before you file. Like if you need to pay off certain things, take half the joint money and put it in a new account, take pictures of assets, etc. You will need to ask if there are any factors in the timing of filing, like if you need to file first. Some states have a limit on how long you can know about adultery before claiming fault - I know that is not your case but there may be other things like financial infidelity that have time limits. You need to ask about legal separation, if there are waiting periods, etc.
I asked for best case scenario and worse case, How many of atty's client - go to trial?
Each atty I spoke to said essentially the same thing - I went with the one who listened
and was willing to go for what I wanted (it was reasonable, just not traditional).
Sorry no minor children in my case....
The lawyer is not your therpist....it was easy for me to forget that and start over-sharing.
I was terrified to make the call and go for the consultations. But after, I felt so much better. Knowledge is power.
He's a great dad so I don't want to take time away from him but I also don't want our dd near the OW.
Sending you strength for the journey ahead. ((((pewpewpew))))
"And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be."
- Sarah McMane
This will seem more of a business deal than ending a marriage. It comes down to money, things and children. The legal system does not care who your WH brings around the kids.
I wish I could remember them all, but you should google Questions to Ask your Divorce Attorney. Or How to Find a Divorce Attorney or something like that.
Choosing a divorce attorney might be the most important decision of your life so you want to be very prepared for your meeting. In all, I met with five or six attorneys - none asked me to bring all the info listed in some of the posts below. You'll have months to collect it, though you'll want to bring basic info like salaries, lists of assets, debts, etc.
In a first meeting it's more important to make sure that YOU are choosing someone who you can afford, who is very experienced, who is responsive, and who you feel comfortable with. It's your time to ask questions. Questions should include: How long does it take you to return phone calls? Will I work with you or a junior associate or a paralegal? Ask about billing. Ask them about how many of their cases go to court. Ask about their style: collaborative?
Please google and do some research - this is one of the most important decisions you'll ever make. You'll want to ask about custody laws, obviously. Give some thought to how much time you and your STBX both currently spend with your child. Think of your perfect dream custody scenario and ask about it. That sort of thing. CC, SS, etc. Joint, legal, etc.
So it certainly can't hurt to pursue a morality clause, especially if you have a remorseful spouse who is a good dad. This is a great question for prospective attorneys.