SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

Depression or Grief?

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

breakingpoint posted 10/16/2013 18:28 PM

How do you know if the sadness is grief and the normal process of losing, or depression? Or are they so entangled that there is no difference?

LosferWords posted 10/16/2013 19:18 PM

My answer is that would be a good question for a doctor or a psychiatrist.

In my personal experience, as someone who has experienced grief and has been diagnosed with depression, I think grief and depression are very similar. Cues to look for are how long the sadness lasts, and how debilitating it is. I think depression and grief both have physical manifestations. Depression tends to linger, and hinder almost all aspects of life, including things that we enjoy or previously enjoyed.

My guess is that since you are questioning it, there is a good possibility that you may be dealing with depression.

Are you currently seeing an IC? If so, I would bring it up with them and pose the same question.

breakingpoint posted 10/16/2013 20:23 PM

Thanks for your answer. I am going to a new IC on Saturday. I will def mention this. I am on antidepressants and have been going to counseling for a while, but want a more effective person.

I am still able to work and be a mom, but I really don't want to talk to friends like I used to or be around family. I just want to do nothing with any free time I have. Maybe I am depressed. But treatment is meds and IC. Already doing that. Ugg. What more can I do?

LosferWords posted 10/16/2013 21:35 PM

Antidepressant medication can be a bit tricky sometimes, too. If one isn't working, then maybe you need to be tapered off, and tapered on to a new one. There's a good chance that your IC may not know all of the nuances with AD medication. Perhaps they can recommend a good psychiatrist to help you in that regard, though.

I believe therapy in one form or another is important to treating depression. One book that my therapist recommended to me which was helpful was "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David Burns. Burns takes more of a holistic and non-medicinal approach to treating depression. He really has some good methods in there.

One thing I would suggest is to get out and make the most of each day. Even if you wake up not feeling like doing anything, "prime the pump", so to speak, by doing something, and the day's physical and social activities will fall into place easier.

Best of luck to you. Hope your upcoming IC appointment is helpful to you!

Ashland13 posted 10/18/2013 09:03 AM

BS here.

These seem like similar emotions, but my experience is also that grief is sharper, where depression is dark but lingers.

FWIW, grief seems to pass by where depression hangs on and affects daily life.

Grief is a momentary lapse but depression is long lasting. It disables and affects daily life.

Apologies for repetition and good luck in counseling. A good one can really help.

Skan posted 10/19/2013 15:35 PM

I don't know how long you've been on your ADs, but do remember. They take a while to kick in. And it varies with each person. It took almost 8 weeks for my FWHs ADs to kick in we were about to give up because RIGHT before they kicked in, he went into such a dark hole that I was fearful for his sanity. Yet another side-effect of ADs kicking in that we didn't know about.

breakingpoint posted 10/19/2013 19:17 PM

Update. First meeting with the new IC and have a great feeling about her. She is direct, honest, yet non-judging. I feel fine talking about the tough stuff. Really wants to attack core belief systems. Going weekly, feeling hopeful.

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.     Privacy Policy