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macakipa (original poster member #33735) posted at 1:55 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
Over the past few weeks during outings with friends I have been complimented by men I have newly met. Comments such as:
"You look much too young to have a daughter who graduated from law school."
"You look wonderful, no one could guess you have gone through what you have."
"You are such an endearing person, you will be fine..."
You get the idea. Anyway, I have noticed that while I feel a flutter of happiness when receiving those compliments, I also feel "uncomfortable". After a smile and a "thank you", I don't know how to further respond. I thought my self esteem had redeemed itself over the past year, but now I find myself with feelings of being, oh, I don't know how to describe it, "inadequate" maybe?
I am not sure what I am actually asking here, but does anyone have any thoughts on these feelings? Have you felt them? How did you cope or conquer them?
[This message edited by macakipa at 8:29 PM, October 16th (Wednesday)]
M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."
thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 2:27 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
I've had similar experiences and similar reactions to them too, macakipa. Although I have added that I do feel great when I actually do. Other than that, I have no idea Hopefully someone who has answers will be along to help us both. 
Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?
gardenparty ( member #12050) posted at 2:52 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
As long as you respond with even a "thank you" that should be enough. Enjoy the compliments!
Helen of Troy ( member #26419) posted at 3:26 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
Yeah, just say thank you.
On the flip side I have recently started a new goal for myself, to compliment someone every day. It has to be a genuine compliment and has to be specific.
Giving compliments actually benefits the giver as well as the receiver. Doing nice things for people (like giving compliments) increases your own self esteem too.
Try it.
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 5:37 AM on Thursday, October 17th, 2013
Sometimes our minds attach a negative thought (yes, but) to every positive thought (a compliment) like a magnet...our minds just have evolved to do that, it doesn't mean you have low self esteem or that this is something to conquer...it is just what human beings' minds do naturally.
So, when you are given a compliment, say thank you and smile and don't mind your mind
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
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