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Newest Member: harleyhugs (45741)

User Topic: Opening one's heart to receive compliments...
macakipa
♀ 33735
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Over the past few weeks during outings with friends I have been complimented by men I have newly met. Comments such as:

"You look much too young to have a daughter who graduated from law school."

"You look wonderful, no one could guess you have gone through what you have."

"You are such an endearing person, you will be fine..."

You get the idea. Anyway, I have noticed that while I feel a flutter of happiness when receiving those compliments, I also feel "uncomfortable". After a smile and a "thank you", I don't know how to further respond. I thought my self esteem had redeemed itself over the past year, but now I find myself with feelings of being, oh, I don't know how to describe it, "inadequate" maybe?

I am not sure what I am actually asking here, but does anyone have any thoughts on these feelings? Have you felt them? How did you cope or conquer them?

[This message edited by macakipa at 8:29 PM, October 16th (Wednesday)]


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
thebighurt
♀ 34722
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've had similar experiences and similar reactions to them too, macakipa. Although I have added that I do feel great when I actually do. Other than that, I have no idea Hopefully someone who has answers will be along to help us both.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2469 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
gardenparty
12050
Member # 12050
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As long as you respond with even a "thank you" that should be enough. Enjoy the compliments!


divorced!

Posts: 2737 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: newfoundland
Helen of Troy
♀ 26419
Member # 26419
Cool  Posted: 9:26 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, just say thank you.

On the flip side I have recently started a new goal for myself, to compliment someone every day. It has to be a genuine compliment and has to be specific.
Giving compliments actually benefits the giver as well as the receiver. Doing nice things for people (like giving compliments) increases your own self esteem too.
Try it.


Posts: 4725 | Registered: Dec 2009
better4me
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes our minds attach a negative thought (yes, but) to every positive thought (a compliment) like a magnet...our minds just have evolved to do that, it doesn't mean you have low self esteem or that this is something to conquer...it is just what human beings' minds do naturally.

So, when you are given a compliment, say thank you and smile and don't mind your mind


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3236 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Topic Posts: 5

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