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I don't regret filing. I didn't regret the divorce or trying to live with its consequences - the permanent alimony, the ridiculous expense of lawyers, the emotional and financial destruction. And I would not take her back for anything.

Every time I hear or read of a successful long-term marriage, I do feel the loss of something we will now never have. I do admire the couples and families that make it. Maybe a bit of self-pity?

Mine is the first divorce in my family or hers and the only infidelity in either family. Among our friends, there is now a similar thing going on with one of our closest married friends.

Though I sympathize with the plight of another father and husband dealing with the destruction of a long-term marriage and a good family, I see it as just how things happen now. The betrayal of trust, the destruction of family, the loss of friends and all the collateral damage that comes along with the end of a long marriage.

Its admiration for those that make it and a fleeting sadness to know that we will not be among the long-term married and that infidelity did that.

Anyone else get that twinge?

That feeling is what I think is making me hesitate seeing a lawyer. I would be the only divorce on my side of the family. It would be the second in her immediate family. Her sister just had one too.

Mine was the first divorce in either side of the family, but my brother followed about a year later.

My Wxh had the balls to blame me for the fact that he would never be able to celebrate a 25th wedding anniversary.

It gets better, but I definitely get that twinge at the worst times.