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Newest Member: Alone73 (46062)

User Topic: Why now?
stillsad1970
♀ 38977
Member # 38977
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After 6 1/2 months since d day and in R with wh, why am I just now having major panic attacks an feeling completely insecure? The insecurity thing is NOT me. WH still works with OW but I've been told by WH and best friend who works with them both, not to be concerned, I do believe them. So why now? I thought I had this thing licked.

Posts: 78 | Registered: Apr 2013
eachdayisvictory
♀ 40462
Member # 40462
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I felt exactly like this many times. When you have those feelings, talk about them here and with your spouse, and don't worry too much. It is very common from what I read and have felt. Apparently these waves can last for years. The difference for me now compared to the earliest days is that I'm not scared to lay it all out for my H. When I get those panick attacks, I tell him about them, we work them out together, and we give ourselves time.

You are not alone.


me, BW: 34
FWH: 35
Dday: Feb 2013
LTA for 2+years
children: 2 boys age 3 and 6
Reconciling

Posts: 395 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nova Scotia, Canada
stillsad1970
♀ 38977
Member # 38977
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The "you are not alone" just made me cry. Thank you. I needed that.

Posts: 78 | Registered: Apr 2013
Skan
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am 14 months past DDay and I triggered so hard yesterday that I had a panic attack, and mind movies that were overwhelming. I was walking around the house in a daze, holding myself and watching movies right behind my open eyes. It happens. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 5261 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
eachdayisvictory
♀ 40462
Member # 40462
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

well, now I cried feeling the support and getting to support someone.

Sending you extra hugs stillsad.


me, BW: 34
FWH: 35
Dday: Feb 2013
LTA for 2+years
children: 2 boys age 3 and 6
Reconciling

Posts: 395 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nova Scotia, Canada
SorrowBhindSmile
♀ 38139
Member # 38139
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i'm 10 months out and they still happen to me on occasion. You are not alone here!!

The OW lives down the street from me. So i see her car, house...HER. all. the. time.

your WH works with OW. You may not see her, but your WH does.....the proximity is there.

When you feel it coming on...face it head on. Talk to your WH. Ask for reassurance. Call him at work just to say "hi". Make plans to meet him for lunch. Chat or text him. Tell him you are feeling down and why and get the boost you need to feel reassured.

Another thing i did was to have my WH text me a picture. When i started feeling wonkey I'd text him "need a pix". he'd have 60 seconds to stop what he was doing and text me a pix back. Didn't matter if he was in a meeting, at lunch with co-workers, whatever.....he stopped what he was doing and sent the pix.

hugs to you!!


Me: BW
Him: WH
OW: My former "dear friend"/neighbor
Married 20+
Kids: 3
D-Day 12/2012
Committed to R 7/8/2013
"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle"

Posts: 357 | Registered: Jan 2013
Topic Posts: 6

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