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Did you punish your cheating spouse?I feel like I need to do something so he does not think he got away with it.

What she went through in recovering from what she did was far greater punishment than I could have ever dreamed up.

I just do not feel he feels guilt or remorse.He still has shitty attitude.

I don't think that there is a punishment I can inflict on my H or any of my ex's that really is going to make me feel like, "oh, everything is okay."

I took revenge on DD's dad by sewing the flies of all of his boxers shut. I also put dog poop under his OW's car door handles. Sadly, I still don't feel that they have been "punished" enough. I'm not sure I will ever feel that way. :(

Punishment hurts you more than them. It lowers you to their level.

Revenge affairs. Slashing tires. everything like that makes you the bad guy and they get off scott free.

And there is no punishment imaginable that can in any way even the scales. I have thought about Poes *Pit and the Pendulum* but no. Close but not even.

In life good people have horrible awful things happen to them all the time. And bad people are oftimes rewarded. I dont understand it. No one does. But it is what it is.

In the end we are left to heal our self and recover mostly on our own. Our WS can help. But in the end most of the work is on us. Punishing our WS wont help us recover.

In my situation. The best punishment would be for WW and OM to wind up together. Basically letting them achieve what they dreamt of in their LTA. I am sure they would destroy each other.

In the end though that would not help me.

I kicked my WW out and I filed for divorce and followed through with it. She just didn't get it at the time, nor was I willing to live with her after what she did. A major reality check for her. By the time our court date came around, she was finally seeing how wrong she was but the damage was done. The merciful thing was to end it and see if reconciliation was possible after divorce.

Within the last month we've made a very high level attempt at reconciliation. She says now we did the right thing. She's not sure she would have come around without me making a drastic move to end everything.

[This message edited by BryanP37 at 8:27 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]