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kenny55 posted 10/17/2013 18:21 PM

My soon to be xWW just got back from a month of alcohol rehab. We are not lving together and we are NOT getting back together. Only reason we are not divorced is that we cannot agree on things w/o the expensive Court fight.
I am a religious person and yet I could have cared less when she went in for treatment. Because of the new healrth care laws, she get to stay on my insurance w/o any extra cost to me until our daughter turns 26 in six years. That is how I found out she was going to treatment. I had to sign the insurance papers ( we are already at our max for the year so no out of pocket for me}. I don't know what caused ehr ti go to rehab and I really do not care. She called a couple of times to talk to out grown daughter, who live with me. I never asked how she was doing nor did I ever ask the girls. I just did not care. not sure if this is good or not??? She is back in town and called the youngest last night and I still did not ask how she was? Am I too cold or disconnected?

SerJR posted 10/17/2013 20:06 PM

I wouldn't call it being cold. This sounds more like disengaging - you've been hurt by her repeatedly and you are learning how to protect yourself. Even a dog will learn when you kick it each time it's called.
Part of this may also be emotional plateauing - you can only process so much at a time, so sometimes your emotions stall out to give you a chance to catch up. I would take both of those possibilities as a sign of moving forward on your own.

[This message edited by SerJR at 8:07 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]

AlexFL posted 10/17/2013 21:31 PM

Your post really helps. I keep wondering why I feel nothing after repeatedly being cheated on. I feel numb. And then out of nowhere I get a wave of sorrow, or anger. I feel like it's my defense. I can't begin to think if how much my life is going to change that in my mind it's like I'm going thru the motions that nothing is changing and we still a happy family. I'm giving him mixed messages too cause I want him out and then I don't want him to leave.