SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Momof3under3 posted 10/17/2013 22:00 PM

I'm thinking that if I stayed in my relationship I would like to have one. My wh has cheated multiple times. I have always felt that having a good pre or post nup would take so much of the what if scenarios off the table.

Any thoughts/advice are appreciated.

gma56 posted 10/17/2013 22:06 PM

Go to a very good attorney and ask tons of questions. Many states do not recognize post nups. I had one but what a joke and it took me several months longer in court to get what he agreed to three years before.
Many times what is in the post nup is what the divorce decree will look like. Make sure ALL issues are covered.

I believe in getting all protection you can get after an A. A good attorney can give you options.
Hugs
Gma

[This message edited by gma56 at 10:08 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]

Momof3under3 posted 10/17/2013 22:12 PM

Do you recommend anywhere that I can get a list of questions I should be asking? I'm so lost but have the appt tomorrow afternoon.

....or does anyone here have ideas of questions?

gma56 posted 10/18/2013 00:52 AM

Here's one article about postnups. Just copy/paste.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lynn-j-maier-esq/why-a-postnuptial-agreeme_b_997219.html

Wiki has good info:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postnuptial_agreement

This from a CA attorney but good advice:

http://www.heathnewton.com/blog/2012/11/21/5-things-you-must-know-about-california-postnuptial-agreements/

This article has several case studies:

http://www.maritalmediation.com/postnuptial-agreements/

I will say a good attorney would be able to question part or all of a postnup in court. With the help of a friend from SI, I was (pro se)able to have FT's attorney question to the judge if we should throw out our post nup and start over.
Needless to say FT honored it at the end and I received my money and then some extra by the end of the divorce.

The post nup is only as good as each spouse honors it.
Hugs do your reseach for laws of your state.
Gma

doesitgetbetter posted 10/18/2013 15:39 PM

There are several people on here who've had them, and then were upset that they spent so much money getting them only to find out they weren't worth the paper they were written on. Find out for yourself if they are even recognizable in your state.... attorney's will lie to you and tell you that anything is possible if you give them enough money (sorry to offend any attorney's out there).

IMO, if you need a post nup to stay, then it's not worth staying. Tiger Woods wife got a post nup, then they divorced anyway. A post nup is no guarantee at all.