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Newest Member: Nexttome (45693)

User Topic: omg
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18835
Member # 18835
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just found out that my son
has been having an affair for the last 2 years. I am so shocked. He phoned m e today to tell me. He loves his wife so much. In shock. Can't believe it


Me BS 54
Him 54 FWS
D-day Oct 19/07

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Canada
karmahappens
♀ 35846
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOW

What did you say to him? That is so sad.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3853 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
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18835
Member # 18835
Default  Posted: 10:53 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Couldn't say much h to him. He was crying too much. Told him to tell her he's sorry all the time and to make sure he stands by her through this very difficult time. He loves her to the end of the earth. Even afterr 6 years for myself I know I will never be the same. Hope the younger of us can manage little better


Me BS 54
Him 54 FWS
D-day Oct 19/07

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Canada
inca
♀ 35298
Member # 35298
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, I am so sorry! How awful for you and for your family. Have you told him of your situation?

Posts: 129 | Registered: Apr 2012
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does he know about what happened with you?

I'm just so sorry. This has to hurt both as a mother and in a trigger kind of way.


"Sometimes people are mean, and sometimes things will be hard. One of your jobs is to try and make sure that that never makes you mean and hard, too." Cord Jefferson's Mom

Posts: 18242 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
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18835
Member # 18835
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh yes he is very aware of what happened to us.


Me BS 54
Him 54 FWS
D-day Oct 19/07

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Canada
karmahappens
♀ 35846
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry.

I know the pain must be great for you.

I hope he can help her through this, and that she lets him.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3853 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
only once
18835
Member # 18835
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think for myself it brings back so many memories or triggers but not the same as much earlier in finding out. I just understand the pain on both sides. She was also the other woman In his previous relationship. He is so disgusted with himself because of all the lies.


Me BS 54
Him 54 FWS
D-day Oct 19/07

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Canada
only once
18835
Member # 18835
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think for myself it brings back so many memories or triggers but not the same as much earlier in finding out. I just understand the pain on both sides. She was also the other woman In his previous relationship. He is so disgusted with himself because of all the lies.


Me BS 54
Him 54 FWS
D-day Oct 19/07

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Canada
EasyDoesIt
♀ 29514
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 11:25 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love my son and when he told me he had cheated on his girlfriend, I offered him my unconditional love and support. But I also let his girlfriend know that I absolutely did not support his choice of cheating, and that I would be entirely supportive of whatever choices she had to make to get through it. I never minced words with either of them. I never blamed her in any way, and I told him that he better let her vent, let her cry, let her ask questions, and answer everything honestly.

They lasted another year, she and I talked many times. She knew that I meant it when I told her that I loved her, she knew that I disapproved of his choices and would in NO way condone what he had done.

Sadly, she wanted to move back home (New England) where she's from and he had just gotten hired as a public defender here in the South, where he's from. They had political divisions as well, and she didn't like his smoking. All in all, I guess it wasn't meant to be. But in no way would I have turned on that girl. She was crushed.

We stayed friends for about a year and then she deleted me. I wish her well and hope that some day we get back in touch. She's a sweet girl and didn't deserve what he did to her. He still regrets it but she has moved on.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3698 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
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18835
Member # 18835
Default  Posted: 11:41 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so much with your way of thinking. I can so much understAnd her pain


Me BS 54
Him 54 FWS
D-day Oct 19/07

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 11

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