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hexed posted 10/18/2013 08:47 AM

I don't know why I was shocked to find out my X was cheating. All the signs were there for years. I chose to make excuses and ignore them. Mostly, I think he'd been involved in several EAs during the first half of our relationship. The PAs probably didn't start until later. Possibly not until OW that he's with now. I'll never know for sure. There was a definite shift in his intent though a couple years before that I think. Again I will never know for sure.

Epiphany: One of the reasons it came as such a shock and I didn't notice the change earlier than I did? That kind of behaviour was his norm! There was nothing to notice. He had always acted that way. He had always been having some sort of fling be it EA or PA there was always something.

Don't know why this matters to me but it makes me feel better to realize that I wasn't really missing a big change.

cl131716 posted 10/18/2013 08:59 AM

My WS was the same way. Nothing changed although he did become more critical of me shortly before I found out. He was cheating just a month or two into our relationship so yeah I'm guessing there were no real signs because that was the norm for him as well.

Artemisia posted 10/18/2013 10:46 AM

Thanks for posting hex. I relate to every single word you wrote! EAs...PAs...when, what..and at some point, who cares. That was him and what he did. I too have hindsight where I remember and wonder, "now what was THAT (insert weird relationship with a woman) all about?"

I guess it's like so many say, "they show you who they are." We just need to be able to see!

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