Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Ganon27

New Beginnings :
A small vent: people who talk about SO all the time

This Topic is Archived
shutup

 Helen of Troy (original poster member #26419) posted at 5:52 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013

Social events where your acquaintance or colleague talks incessantly about their partner this, their partner that. Lunch with one today I started silently counting how many times she mentioned his name. I really wanted to say Who cares!? Are you really so enmeshed that you are unable to have conversation without him in it? No gives a flip if he doesn't like beans or wants to visit this place or that or his plans this weekend. He isn't here and I didn't invite him along, we don't even know him so stfu. Instead, just kept quiet to be polite.

posts: 4809   ·   registered: Dec. 4th, 2009
id 6528519
default

gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 6:02 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013

I have a strong urge to call my SO to see what she thinks of this thread.

Sorry - couldn't help it. - Feeling like a smart a$$

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

posts: 3991   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011   ·   location: Georgia
id 6528531
default

ImStillwaiting ( member #12580) posted at 7:24 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013

I have an aquaintance that does this so much... she does it in a weird way too.

For instance say her husband's name is John (made up name of course), she won't say John is texting me.

She says My Husband is texting me... it's never his name always My Husband.

Like I should be impressed she's married.

[This message edited by ImStillwaiting at 1:25 PM, October 18th (Friday)]

♥ Me: 37 ♥ HiM: 38 ♥ Married: 17 years

♥Kids: 10 year old DS 7 year old DD 5 year old DS♥

posts: 473   ·   registered: Nov. 7th, 2006   ·   location: NY
id 6528640
default

thyme2go ( member #12908) posted at 10:18 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013

Should one never talk of a SO?

BH - no longer 50
3 DD's - (32, 28 and 21)
Divorced on 8/6/09

posts: 9204   ·   registered: Dec. 10th, 2006   ·   location: ND
id 6528893
default

Crescita ( member #32616) posted at 10:45 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013

Oh t2g, there is a difference! One of my sisters talked about what her SO thought of everything so much I thought he sounded like a big pompous douche. When I finally got to know him he was a normal guy, my sister was just so obsessed with his opinions that she forgot to have her own.

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

posts: 3640   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2011   ·   location: The Valley of the Sun
id 6528940
default

InnerLight ( member #19946) posted at 11:07 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013

Talking about SO is one thing. Acting like you've been invaded by a body snatcher is another thing. WGB it sounds like your gf has poor boundaries and has given up her self for the sake of her relationship. She might not be able to recognize her own thoughts, opinions, needs separate from the SO.

It is so disturbing to be with someone like this! I dread this experience with my friends. It's like the sound of doom for my own relationship with these friends.

[This message edited by InnerLight at 5:08 PM, October 18th (Friday)]

BS, 64 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 years together
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!

posts: 6688   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2008   ·   location: Rural California
id 6528970
default

stronger08 ( member #16953) posted at 9:37 AM on Sunday, October 20th, 2013

I've been head over heels in love 3 times in my 51 years. The 3rd was my XWW and we all know how that went. Yet the other 2 times were with women who were polar opposites of each other. My first love was with a young lady who was very demure, quiet and very low key. She was quite attractive and did not appreciate the attention she got due to it. She was very introverted as opposed to my extroverted personality. But we clicked instantly. We never really publicly expressed our love for one another. But we could be in a crowded place and lock eyes and I instantly knew I loved her and she loved me. It was on that plain where our love existed. I felt it was pure and easy. Even some people we knew did not know we were together. And that was OK because we did. We did not hide our relationship and expressed our feelings privately. But it was just naturally low key. Being young and stupid I blew that relationship and we kind of drifted apart.

The 2nd time was with a girl who was like the people you mentioned. Very clingy and always hanging onto me. She was very pretty, popular, educated and came from a family with money. But she suffered from confidence issues and was always by my side. At first I thought it was because we were new. She fell in love with me rather quickly. It took me a few months to catch up to her with my feelings. But I did fall in love with her. We were together over a year and she was still all over me. I was always introduced by her as "My BF ---" I was never just ---. It got to the point where I started to hate being around her. And I actually started doing some rather mean things to her because no matter what I did she was always going to be there. She was like an annoying puppy who never left you alone. If I didn't see her for a day or so it was like I was gone for a year when I did. Everything was a spectacle. I tried my best to get her to understand that she was smothering me to no avail. It got to the point that I loved her but I had to get out of the relationship. And when I did I broke her heart and she became kind of a stalker. It was a bad break up that ended when I threatened to file a police report.

Now that I'm older and hopefully wiser I can see that both relationships were not normal. If I had to do it all again I would have put more effort into the first because that was true love for me. It was natural and easy for me. I think if I had put more effort into showing my love for her we could have been together to this day. But there needs to be balance in a relationship. Too much of anything is no good. Individuality is very important in my opinion. It cant be all about ones self or all about the relationship either. I feel that a relationship and love is meant to compliment a persons life, not consume it. Its a very fine line that needs to be walked and very few of the lucky ones find it. Shoot, I'm 51 years old and I am still looking for the one to compliment my life. I haven't found her yet. But I'm still hopeful that one day I will.

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

posts: 6851   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2007
id 6530405
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy