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Newest Member: Anderson78

Divorce/Separation :
So now I find this...holy cow

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 SeanFLA (original poster member #32380) posted at 10:05 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013

ExWW has an iPad my son pretty much uses almost exclusively now. In fact he brings it over to my place to use for the Internet, fishing pictures, light homework and games. But being a knowledgeable parent I take a look at it and his phone once a while to check up on things. After all he's 14 and I have every right in the world to look at these things to make sure he's staying out of trouble. He's not allowed to password protect anything.

Anyhow I look at the pictures on it and there's a bunch from fishing and vacations. Then I scroll back and there it is...from the month I moved out (date stamped thanks to the new ios7) a pic of exWw half naked in the bathroom she took with the ipad camara showing off her ass. To who and why I have no idea. I'm furious because it's on the iPad my son uses! I've seen him show his friends videos on it and everything. Not to mention it really hurt knowing she kept doing whatever she was doing in the mist of her marriage ending and her son hurting as I left. I did find her sending pics in emails to her AP when I discovered the A.

Anyhow I'm trying to decide what to do now. I'm sure my son has seen it. Thinking I need to send him home with his iPad and a sealed note to her asking her to "take off the half naked pics of yourself because my son may see them." I need to leave the picture on there so she doesn't think I'm lying or something, I'm just astonished, shocked and hurt once again at this because it involves my son. Don't people ever learn?

[This message edited by SeanFLA at 4:07 PM, October 18th (Friday)]

BS(me) 53
WW 52
1 son 20 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley

posts: 1647   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2011   ·   location: Zombie Land
id 6528874
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 10:24 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013

I'd show it to my lawyer.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6528909
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dmari ( member #37215) posted at 10:27 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013

Ewwww. God I hope your son didn't see that picture. There isn't enough brain bleach to erase that!

posts: 2868   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2012
id 6528920
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 SeanFLA (original poster member #32380) posted at 10:27 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013

I've been divorced for quite a while. The lawyers are done. She's a single woman now. She can slut around anyway she wants...as long as it doesn't hurt my son.

BS(me) 53
WW 52
1 son 20 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley

posts: 1647   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2011   ·   location: Zombie Land
id 6528921
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 10:51 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013

Well, I think nekkid pictures of your mom's ass on your iPad is hurtful. It's also against the law, even in the liberal state I live in, to expose your minor child to pornography.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6528948
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Abbondad ( member #37898) posted at 11:05 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013

Sean,

I am so sorry your son had to be exposed to this disturbing shit. If you followed my thread, this was very similar to what pushed me over the edge and made me finally file:

My son (nine!)found a naked pic of his mother that she'd texted to her POS--along with her POS's leering adolescent reply.

My DS was so disturbed by this he witheld this information from me for over a week because he thought I would kill myself. He also expressed that he thought of killing himself.

That would have been bad enough; what was worse was my WW's response, which was essentially a big "So what? He shouldn't have looked at my phone." I told her he spoke of suicide, and what was her reply? "He is being manipulative." NINE YEARS OLD.

No responsibility, no self-disgust, and of course no apology to me or to her young child.

It was despicable and disgusting. My son will always carry this image and know what his mother is.

My WW had moved out by that point. These people are deplorable, Sean. I also have in my possession tons of nude pics my WW sent to her POS while we were supposedly in reconciliation. (Downloaded from her Iphone.)

This is who they are: remorseless, shallow, entitled, and selfish people. Thank god we came to our senses and will be rid of them. Unfortunately our children, whom they have scarred, won't be for a long time.

Again, so sorry. We chose wrong.

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune

posts: 2088   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6528966
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Thefly559 ( member #40268) posted at 11:43 PM on Friday, October 18th, 2013

Dam , they are crazy. Sorry brother. My stbxww did similar with sex toys left out in the bedroom. That weren't even ours. So I kinda understand , and it sucks . You are a good father. Better than she could ever be a mother.

"respect? you don't deserve it, you won't get any from me unless you earn it"

posts: 1033   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2013   ·   location: nyc
id 6529043
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Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 12:07 AM on Saturday, October 19th, 2013

Maybe I'm vindictive, but if I were in that situation, I would call DCFS on my husband, after documenting the hell out of the iPad NOT being mine!! Her negligence is a form of child abuse, and I would NOT stand for it!

DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

posts: 3406   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois, USA
id 6529067
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 1:28 AM on Saturday, October 19th, 2013

Her negligence is a form of child abuse, and I would NOT stand for it!

I'd take it to the cops. Nothing will come of it but it could make her more careful in future.

Yuck. I can't imagine what a mind-fuck it would be to see a parent like that at any age, let alone 14.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6529158
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realitybites ( member #6908) posted at 1:39 AM on Saturday, October 19th, 2013

If you have a way to delete it....do it.

Don't give a shit if she is happy or not that you "fooled around" on her IPAD. Just do it.

Stop expecting loyalty from people who cannot even give you honesty.

He stopped being my husband the first time he cheated. It took me awhile to understand that I was no longer his wife.

posts: 6939   ·   registered: Apr. 16th, 2005   ·   location: florida
id 6529166
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 2:28 AM on Saturday, October 19th, 2013

I'd erase it. At this point in time, contacting her to remove it is useless. She may have left it as a way to hurt you, expecting you to find it long before now. IF your son hasn't seen it, the longer it stays on the iPad the longer you risk him finding it-that's not something I would leave to chance.

I don't expect my XH to be a responsible parent, a responsible parent would have reviewed and deleted things that could hurt the kid BEFORE giving the kid exclusive use of any electronic devices. NOT something my XH would do. I pick up his messes a lot when it comes to my kids. I feel it's the right thing to do.

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6529214
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