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Repairlilflower
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Topic: Will this always be between us
shortee126
♀
35803
Member # 35803
Posted: 9:15 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013
Just wondering if this is a normal feeling for all of you in R. Do you feel that there is always going to be something (the affair) always between you. I am not sure that I can grasp the concept of this not being something that will forever be between us. We are a year in and I am wondering if this thing is always going to be a "thing" that will separate us in some way. I am working on forgiveness and I know that I am not totally there.
BS- 36
WS-35
married 12 years together 18
DD- 5/27/12
He walked out on me and the girls 5/26/12
Recovery started 9/15/12
Hoping for Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom!!!!
Just wondering if this is a normal feeling for all of you in R. Do you feel that there is always going to be something (the affair) always between you. I am not sure that I can grasp the concept of this not being something that will forever be between us. We are a year in and I am wondering if this thing is always going to be a "thing" that will separate us in some way. I am working on forgiveness and I know that I am not totally there.
Posts: 130 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: New York
Gipper
♂
32232
Member # 32232
Posted: 9:48 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013
3 years out and it is still there for me. I have forgiven and ok in that regard. It doesn't occupy my entire waking hours as it did in the early days, and I don't often specifically think of it, but it is there.
3 years out and it is still there for me. I have forgiven and ok in that regard. It doesn't occupy my entire waking hours as it did in the early days, and I don't often specifically think of it, but it is there.
Posts: 724 | Registered: May 2011
Jrazz
♀
31349
Member # 31349
Posted: 10:14 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013
I'm not sure that it ever goes away, but it transitions from a gaping wound to a scar, and scars become a part of us. They're subtle reminders of where we've been, but they don't affect our day-to-day as much as the years pass.
"All the wars, all the hatred, all the ignorance in the world come out of being so invested in our opinions. And at bottom, those opinions are merely our efforts to escape the underlying uneasiness of being human. - Pema Chodron
I'm not sure that it ever goes away, but it transitions from a gaping wound to a scar, and scars become a part of us. They're subtle reminders of where we've been, but they don't affect our day-to-day as much as the years pass.
Posts: 20786 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 3
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