At about 4:00 pm this afternoon two years ago, I found XWH's open email with messages to a woman I'd never heard of before.
Two years later... well, it's been a rollercoaster. Once I emerged from the initial pain, opened up and told people, went to a support group, joined SI, and started moving on with my life, so many great things have happened. My kids and I have settled into a great little home, we are largely happy and well-adjusted, my job fits in beautifully with my kids' schedules, I've joined a singing group, and I spend a lot of time with great friends and family whenever I can. I have many blessings in my life, and I think that I'm much more content in many ways than I was when I was married.
The downside is that XWH married the OW, and they continue to be emotionally-stunted and insensitive despite their great showy demonstrations of blended family life. They intrude on my peaceful little life through what they do to my kids, so that part of things still really sucks.
Where do I go from here? I think that I just want to keep things as stable and comfortable as possible for myself and the kids. We're on a good path right now, though I need to work on being less stressed out by everything. I also want to work more at attaining the state of "meh" when it comes to XWH and the Owife. It's hard because of what happens with the kids, but I'm hoping that as more time passes, I will get there.
Anyway, I think I'll celebrate my DDay tomorrow with a fabulous cup of coffee purchased at my favorite coffee shop and some time with my kids and other family members. This DDay "season" hasn't been easy-- I still felt the sadness creeping in as the weather cooled and the leaves started changing-- but it has actually been easier than last year. I still feel the sadness, but it hasn't enveloped me like it did-- it's more like the occasional twinge here and there.
If you're going through a recent DDay, remember that with time there is hope and the promise of a better future. It's not what any of us wants to hear, but it's very true. I'm certainly in a far better place than I was two years ago today.