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Newest Member: Dilbert (46033)

User Topic: Still living with WS. Torture!
tennispro
♀ 39728
Member # 39728
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Due to many factors I am still living with my WS. He travels a lot for work and our apartment is on the market but he refuses to get a one bedroom in the meantime.
I feel like I'm being tortured when he is in town!! And, our poor children have to deal with this tension when he's around.
Additionally, he told me yesterday that he's going to have me sign a non-disclosure agreement regarding his business. Jeez - this guy really thinks he's so important.
I need OUT and there haven't been any offers on our place. It's still early days with that and I can't take the kids and leave. That's not a smart move.
Thanks for "listening".
-TP


Me: BS 44yo
Him: WS 42yo
Married 11yrs; together 16yr
Kids: 8yo and 3yo
Dday: June 26, 2013
Dday #2: July 22, 2013 - found out same woman and been going on since Dec 2012.
Starting the divorce process. Listing our home. Scared but hopeful.

Posts: 40 | Registered: Jul 2013
osxgirl
♀ 8795
Member # 8795
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not sure what to tell you about the living situation. If there is any way you could move out and let him deal with the apartment, I would if I were you.

My plan if my X had tried to move back in was that I was going to counter with having my mother move in with us. I knew that if he even THOUGHT that might happen, he wouldn't come back.

But as far as the non-disclosure... you don't HAVE to sign ANYTHING. And don't. At least not without it going through a lawyer first. And I still wouldn't without getting something in return. If he really wants you to sign it, maybe... he should move out first, with an agreement that you have exclusive use of the apartment.


Posts: 2419 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Maryland
jemimapd
♀ 37895
Member # 37895
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am in the same situation and I am feeling really stressed today. I feel your pain!

I would take it to your attorney and put occupancy of the apartment as part of the negotiations.

It sounds as if it is convenient for him so why would he incur the cost of getting a place of his own.

Our divorce will be finalized in about six weeks so at least the end is in sight.

My WH treats it like a hotel. I am trying to detach and do the minimum but it is hard with children around. I can hardly snatch food out if his hands. I am just trying to grin and bear it. The weekdays are OK, it is the weekends that are miserable.

[This message edited by jemimapd at 11:24 AM, October 19th (Saturday)]


Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

Posts: 726 | Registered: Dec 2012
Elaine2012
♀ 36099
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry you have to live like this. Surviving in house separation is a very painful situation especially if you don't see an end in sight.

I survived for 9 months before I was able to make a change. Right now I'm living with a woman from church. Is there any way you could temporarily move in with someone if you can't get him to agree to move?

Don't sign anything w/o an L helping you. He is now only looking out for his own interests. You now have to look out for yours. This is all hard business it will get better.


Me- 54
WH-who cares
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 289 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: I'm surrounded by majestic mountain ranges
Pippy
♀ 16482
Member # 16482
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can you sublet to someone so that the rent is paid until your lease is up?

Don't wait around for him to say how things go. Do what you want. It's YOUR life. Ask a Lawyer how to proceed.


I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
M 30 yrs.


Posts: 9588 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: East of the Rockies
Topic Posts: 5

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