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Got Through it - Wow

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devasted30 posted 10/19/2013 12:20 PM

Thursday was our "antiversary". The day my WS left me because, "he wanted to live alone - not be married anymore".
Only took me 17 days to finally clue in to the fact that there was someone else. Even though I had received an anonymous letter in the mail and many, many late night phone calls. Never knew - never would have believed him capable of it. But, alas, it happened and he returned on January 1st.
He was absolutely great all week. On Tuesday, we headed to the U.S. to shop, golf and just generally play around together. On Thursday AM, I awoke and he held me so tight that I thought he'd never let me go. He catered to me all day but didn't press me on any issues. Over the past couple of days I had asked him questions and he had answered them all...I know he wasn't thrilled that I was dragging so much back up, but he understood that I NEEDED that. Yesterday, he drove and I shopped and we had a great time. I would never have believed that I would make it through that day and it wasn't the horrible disaster I anticipated it being. I can't believe how far we have come in so little time. Am I over it - NO FRIGGIN WAY. This morning, I burst into tears and cried my eyes out - and WS held me and told me over and over again how much he loves me and when I said that I thought maybe I had finally broken through the pain, he told me NO, it will take you years but I will be here to help you. He even mentioned this morning that the love he feels for me is indescripable. He's always loved me but this is so different from the way it use to be....to him, this is the best feeling he's ever had in his life. Isn't that amazing.
It took 2 of us to bring this marriage down. It took 1 of us to cheat, but it's taking both of us to work on this marriage and to start to heal.
A very hard lesson, but one well learnt.
I'm not stupid enough to believe that everything will be okay now, but I know that there are sunny days ahead and that's a lot more than I knew a few months ago - heck even a few days ago.
So for all you newbies who are just beginning the horrors of this unwanted journey, take it from me - you will survive this. Let everyone on this site who are so much wiser than me, guide you forward and help you through this. It does get better. I am living proof.
I hope everyone has a happier day than yesterday and an even happier tomorrow.

[This message edited by devasted30 at 12:23 PM, October 19th (Saturday)]

TheAmazingWondertwin posted 10/19/2013 12:27 PM

I am so happy for you!
Just hugs!!!!

ILINIA posted 10/19/2013 12:41 PM

I'm only 4 months in and I wanted to let you know that this made me smile. Thanks for the encouragement!

catlover50 posted 10/19/2013 12:52 PM

Oh good for you both!! That's awesome!

Skan posted 10/19/2013 15:28 PM

I'm thrilled that you got through that antiversary with support and love!

iwillNOT posted 10/19/2013 16:58 PM

Thanks for the positive post. Getting through all this to a point of such love and authenticity...someday I hope that's me.

Trying2013 posted 10/19/2013 17:06 PM

I've known for a week and today we decided to take time apart. I don't know if we will ever get back, though I hope we do. Not only because I love him, but it will show that he has started to deal with his issues, rather than sweep them under and hope for the best.
Reading your post makes me feel even just a little positive that there may be hope.

eachdayisvictory posted 10/19/2013 17:08 PM

A great message about what the WS can do to support their BS.

Congratulations. It's wild to feel so genuinely happy for someone I haven't met, but I do.

Plus I noticed that we are both Canadian. Somehow makes a difference, feels less distant and more personal to hear my fellow Canadians' stories.

sodamnlost posted 10/19/2013 17:12 PM

What an amazing post! So happy for you. I cannot fathom what that must feel like. I won't be jealous of you though - I will celebrate with you!

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