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Newest Member: WOPR (61467)

User Topic: Got Through it - Wow
♀ 39439
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thursday was our "antiversary". The day my WS left me because, "he wanted to live alone - not be married anymore".
Only took me 17 days to finally clue in to the fact that there was someone else. Even though I had received an anonymous letter in the mail and many, many late night phone calls. Never knew - never would have believed him capable of it. But, alas, it happened and he returned on January 1st.
He was absolutely great all week. On Tuesday, we headed to the U.S. to shop, golf and just generally play around together. On Thursday AM, I awoke and he held me so tight that I thought he'd never let me go. He catered to me all day but didn't press me on any issues. Over the past couple of days I had asked him questions and he had answered them all...I know he wasn't thrilled that I was dragging so much back up, but he understood that I NEEDED that. Yesterday, he drove and I shopped and we had a great time. I would never have believed that I would make it through that day and it wasn't the horrible disaster I anticipated it being. I can't believe how far we have come in so little time. Am I over it - NO FRIGGIN WAY. This morning, I burst into tears and cried my eyes out - and WS held me and told me over and over again how much he loves me and when I said that I thought maybe I had finally broken through the pain, he told me NO, it will take you years but I will be here to help you. He even mentioned this morning that the love he feels for me is indescripable. He's always loved me but this is so different from the way it use to him, this is the best feeling he's ever had in his life. Isn't that amazing.
It took 2 of us to bring this marriage down. It took 1 of us to cheat, but it's taking both of us to work on this marriage and to start to heal.
A very hard lesson, but one well learnt.
I'm not stupid enough to believe that everything will be okay now, but I know that there are sunny days ahead and that's a lot more than I knew a few months ago - heck even a few days ago.
So for all you newbies who are just beginning the horrors of this unwanted journey, take it from me - you will survive this. Let everyone on this site who are so much wiser than me, guide you forward and help you through this. It does get better. I am living proof.
I hope everyone has a happier day than yesterday and an even happier tomorrow.

[This message edited by devasted30 at 12:23 PM, October 19th (Saturday)]

And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

Posts: 1877 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
♀ 40769
Member # 40769
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so happy for you!
Just hugs!!!!

Just call me Wonder

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

The axe "forgets"- the tree remembers.

Divorced and super good with tha
2 DS- 15 and 16
DDay 1- 07-24-2013
DDay 2- June something or other 2017

Posts: 1248 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
♀ 39836
Member # 39836
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm only 4 months in and I wanted to let you know that this made me smile. Thanks for the encouragement!

Entering R slowly and cautiously...

Posts: 893 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 37154
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh good for you both!! That's awesome!

Dday -9/23/2012

Posts: 2309 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm thrilled that you got through that antiversary with support and love!

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10048 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 40605
Member # 40605
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the positive post. Getting through all this to a point of such love and authenticity...someday I hope that's me.

Me: BS, 46
Him: WH, 47
Together 24 years
4 amazing kids
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Choosing myself daily and R almost every day

Posts: 698 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
♀ 41024
Member # 41024
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've known for a week and today we decided to take time apart. I don't know if we will ever get back, though I hope we do. Not only because I love him, but it will show that he has started to deal with his issues, rather than sweep them under and hope for the best.
Reading your post makes me feel even just a little positive that there may be hope.

Patience is the key to joy

Posts: 49 | Registered: Oct 2013
♀ 40462
Member # 40462
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A great message about what the WS can do to support their BS.

Congratulations. It's wild to feel so genuinely happy for someone I haven't met, but I do.

Plus I noticed that we are both Canadian. Somehow makes a difference, feels less distant and more personal to hear my fellow Canadians' stories.

me, BW: 37
FWH: 38
together 19 years, M 13 years
Dday: Feb 2013
LTA for 2+years
children: 2 boys age 6 and 9

Posts: 530 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nova Scotia, Canada
♀ 37190
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What an amazing post! So happy for you. I cannot fathom what that must feel like. I won't be jealous of you though - I will celebrate with you!

Me - BS original Dday 10-2012, separated June 2014, divorce Fall 2016

Grief, loss and pain taunt her - "you will never be the same." Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, she rises and spreads her new wings as she brushes off the ashes an

Posts: 772 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Out of the ashes
Topic Posts: 9

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