I am a little confused, shock, anxious, depressed but also content.
Its been 18 months since DD and at times, I am still in pain and cannot believe how he did all of this to me. I have put a lot of effort in getting better (group therapy, individual therapy, new job, personal trainer, lost weight, journal, CBT, socializing etc), But there are those moments where it HURTS.
For anyone several years past DD, does the pain ever go away or subside?
Another reason I am upset is because I was hoping that an ex who I previously talked to before my husband would be interested in talking to me again. However, it is pretty clear that he would not be interested (i.e., he talked to me fine in person and acted friendly but when I sent him a couple emails asking him how things are going, he never responded). I had really really liked that ex and wondered how things would have been it it worked out with him.
I am also really missing the emotional connection, the cuddling, and having someone to share my life with. I am living with my parents but its just not the same. How do you fill that void?
Also, I am worried that I will never trust again enough to marry someone. Right now, all guys seem very perverted and like liars to me - I feel like they all want to marry a person who is beautiful on the outside. I also feel like they will never be satisfied with a wife, always have a wondering eye or mind and eventually cheat if they can. Thats just the way I feel right now.
Did anyone feel this way and then change?