The A broke our M. Slowly cracking it during the A. I could see the small cracks, but didn't know what they were, or how they were getting there. I tried to fix them...but without knowing why they were there, I couldn't.
On dday, it shattered. I was there, looking at all the pieces on the ground, not knowing if it could ever be repaired, not knowing if it was even possible.
I tried carefully, gently putting the pieces back together, but they wouldn't stay. I threw the pieces across the room. I ignored the pieces. I hated the pieces, yet I loved them at the same time....but I couldn't fix it, not alone.
I held all the pieces, and the choice to allow him to help me repair it or not.
At first, he tried to help by showing me which pieces went where. I already knew that, but couldn't make them stay in place. They would balance for a while, then fall back away.
Then he tried to hold them in place with fools gold. It looked pretty, but didn't have the strength to hold the weight, the history, the importance of the pieces.
It wasn't until he found his real gold, not fools gold, that the pieces started to go back together. Finding that gold took a long time. Sometimes what he thought was real, wasn't. Sometimes there were so many impurities, the pieces either didn't fit smoothly together or ended up slipping, or never setting firmly in place.
At times, I held back pieces, even when he had the gold to repair the pieces. I had to be sure that he wouldn't grow tired of mining the gold and there wouldn't be enough to put all the pieces back together. The sharp edges would eventually kill me.
Over time I saw that he had found, within him, a vein of gold. He didn't have to look outside himself to mine it. Slowly, the pieces went back together. Sometimes they fit in perfectly, sometimes we had to search for slivers of pieces before we could fill in the crack.
Seeing the vessel now, it is beautiful. Not because of the A, but because of how we repaired it. It's beautiful in it's own way. It's strong. It's imperfect. It's ours..and all the scars and cracks remind us of the work we've done to make it so.
[This message edited by unfound at 10:37 AM, October 20th (Sunday)]