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Pulling myself into a dark, black hole

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suposd2btheonly1 posted 10/20/2013 17:58 PM

I can feel myself withdrawing today. I don't want to be around anyone, talk to anyone....think. I'm so sad today. I'm in such shock that my H would stoop so low as to wreck everything we ever were.

I cant believe I married one of 'those guys', the kind that snake around and hurt the ones they love.

I would rather be dead today than to live with the knowledge and pain his stupidity has caused.

FightingBack posted 10/20/2013 18:14 PM

((((supposed))))

Pull yourself right back out. Affairs happen when people are so wrapped up in themselves that they forget the people who love them. They don't consider their feelings. They don't protect their hearts and they are too selfish to consider the consequences of their actions.

But You are better than that. You must consider those beautiful boys and make sure they have a healthy mom. Step out of that black hole for THEM. Because you are the responsible parent. Because you care about their happiness and safety. And you must teach them how important it is to protect the hearts of those who love them.

suposd2btheonly1 posted 10/20/2013 18:18 PM

Thank you Fightingback, I needed to hear that.

Some days its just so hard. The boys are the only things in this world I care about. I don't know what I would do without them.

Sometimes it just seems easier to let go and fade away than it does to fight.

breakingpoint posted 10/20/2013 18:19 PM

Know that you are having a bad day, so I hope feeling from a wayward is ok. I am going to assume its ok, since you are in General Forum.

Its ok to have a bad day. Your life sucks right now, and feeling bad feelings is a step toward better times. A step we would all love to skip, but alas we can not.

Remind yourself that you did nothing wrong, nothing that deserved this. Life stinks this way because people are flawed, broken, and short-sighted.

Give yourself a break. Don't be critical of your actions before the A or of your grieving process right now.

Grab some tea, take a bath, a few benedryl and SLEEP.

Wake up, shower, look at the sunshine, and put your right foot forward, then your left.

Its ok to be sad and angry. Give yourself permission. Love yourself on bad days.

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