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General :
Pulling myself into a dark, black hole

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helpless

 suposd2btheonly1 (original poster member #40753) posted at 11:58 PM on Sunday, October 20th, 2013

I can feel myself withdrawing today. I don't want to be around anyone, talk to anyone....think. I'm so sad today. I'm in such shock that my H would stoop so low as to wreck everything we ever were.

I cant believe I married one of 'those guys', the kind that snake around and hurt the ones they love.

I would rather be dead today than to live with the knowledge and pain his stupidity has caused.

Me: BW 31
Him: WH 30
OW: 22yo whore who is still planning her wedding
Married 3yrs, together 5
4 kids, all boys 14, 11, 4 and 8mos...I hope like hell they don't hurt someone the way he hurt their mama
Dday: August 9, 2013
S, until his head

posts: 206   ·   registered: Sep. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Oklahoma
id 6530916
default

FightingBack ( member #34770) posted at 12:14 AM on Monday, October 21st, 2013

((((supposed))))

Pull yourself right back out. Affairs happen when people are so wrapped up in themselves that they forget the people who love them. They don't consider their feelings. They don't protect their hearts and they are too selfish to consider the consequences of their actions.

But You are better than that. You must consider those beautiful boys and make sure they have a healthy mom. Step out of that black hole for THEM. Because you are the responsible parent. Because you care about their happiness and safety. And you must teach them how important it is to protect the hearts of those who love them.

Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

posts: 1459   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2012
id 6530927
default

 suposd2btheonly1 (original poster member #40753) posted at 12:18 AM on Monday, October 21st, 2013

Thank you Fightingback, I needed to hear that.

Some days its just so hard. The boys are the only things in this world I care about. I don't know what I would do without them.

Sometimes it just seems easier to let go and fade away than it does to fight.

Me: BW 31
Him: WH 30
OW: 22yo whore who is still planning her wedding
Married 3yrs, together 5
4 kids, all boys 14, 11, 4 and 8mos...I hope like hell they don't hurt someone the way he hurt their mama
Dday: August 9, 2013
S, until his head

posts: 206   ·   registered: Sep. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Oklahoma
id 6530933
default

breakingpoint ( member #40963) posted at 12:19 AM on Monday, October 21st, 2013

Know that you are having a bad day, so I hope feeling from a wayward is ok. I am going to assume its ok, since you are in General Forum.

Its ok to have a bad day. Your life sucks right now, and feeling bad feelings is a step toward better times. A step we would all love to skip, but alas we can not.

Remind yourself that you did nothing wrong, nothing that deserved this. Life stinks this way because people are flawed, broken, and short-sighted.

Give yourself a break. Don't be critical of your actions before the A or of your grieving process right now.

Grab some tea, take a bath, a few benedryl and SLEEP.

Wake up, shower, look at the sunshine, and put your right foot forward, then your left.

Its ok to be sad and angry. Give yourself permission. Love yourself on bad days.

posts: 118   ·   registered: Oct. 12th, 2013
id 6530934
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