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Newest Member: HeartbrokenQueen

General :
Should I go into his email

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 iammine (original poster new member #39461) posted at 1:18 AM on Monday, October 21st, 2013

I was able to read my H's texts and emails. I was in the process of figuring all of it out when the OW got a full time job and all communication between H and OW pretty much stopped.

Since then my H's cell phone broke and he got a new one. Now since the model changed I'm no longer able to read texts. He never before had a password on his phone but he does now. He also set up a new Gmail email address and I don't know the password.

I can view his old but active email account and his Facebook. He has started talking to an old work associate via Facebook and he gave her his cell phone. He does have a program on his cell phone to have all texts and phone records sent to his email address but he used the new old.

What happens if I try and "Forget Password" on his new email? I know it would lock him out and he would do a password reset but at least I can have a look at what he is doing.

I don't know what to do.

posts: 45   ·   registered: Jun. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6530996
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breakingpoint ( member #40963) posted at 1:24 AM on Monday, October 21st, 2013

You really don't have to do a single thing to get your answer. Whether he is talking to another woman or not, he is not being honest.

I know as a wayward that EVERYTHING should be open to my husband. Its not possible for R as long as he is taking additional steps to keep you out of his communications with others.

Its not what the dishonesty is, its the spirit of dishonesty that he is still living that prevents you from moving forward with the relationship.

posts: 118   ·   registered: Oct. 12th, 2013
id 6531004
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TheClimb ( member #25895) posted at 1:25 AM on Monday, October 21st, 2013

Does he know you know about the first OW? Can you still see the phone records as to who he is texting and calling?

I never had access to my husband's text messages but could tell when he was talking to her by the phone number on our cell phone records. After I knew he was spending hours talking to someone other than me, I hired a PI to follow him. I never needed the text messages after I had the PI.

There are other ways such as a VAR to track what your WH is doing. But, if you two are working things out, he should not be talking with OW or some other friend and you should definitely have all passwords.

So sorry about this.

"That which can be destroyed by the truth should be" P.C. Hodgell

posts: 498   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2009   ·   location: Southern Maryland
id 6531007
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jemimapd ( member #37895) posted at 1:32 AM on Monday, October 21st, 2013

Does he drive to work? If so, your best course of action is to put a voice activated recorder in the car. There is a very good chance they will be talking on the drive to and from work.

Jemima Puddleduck is a trusting soul....
DD 1 Dec 2012; Divorced 11/13; 2 children
Me: BS (47) Him: WH (52) Her: 3 PA's
Ex bought a house, The Money Pit With Mold That Will Never Be Finished. He's living in the basement.

posts: 726   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6531016
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phmh ( member #34146) posted at 1:37 AM on Monday, October 21st, 2013

Are you in IC? You might want to think about why you'd want to stay in a marriage in which you need to play marriage police.

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

posts: 4993   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011
id 6531025
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 iammine (original poster new member #39461) posted at 1:38 AM on Monday, October 21st, 2013

Thanks for the replies.

He is unaware that I know anything.

He does not choose to work. I'm just feeling anxious because I could freely see all his communication and now I am unable.

posts: 45   ·   registered: Jun. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6531027
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 iammine (original poster new member #39461) posted at 1:39 AM on Monday, October 21st, 2013

There is a 6 mth waiting list for IC... Cannot afford private. Couple of more months

posts: 45   ·   registered: Jun. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6531031
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headdesk ( member #40787) posted at 3:01 AM on Monday, October 21st, 2013

So he doesn't know you know about the first one? When are you planning to confront? Or are you?

Me: 39
WH: 42
DDay:Sep 19 2013 (only TT of EA)
Oct 4th 2013 revealed PA through snooping.
Marred 16 years, together for 20. Looking to R at this time. We have awesome kids (12/14).

posts: 273   ·   registered: Sep. 25th, 2013
id 6531120
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 iammine (original poster new member #39461) posted at 2:30 AM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

wow...

I mentioned a new girl he was texting. a former co-worker. she would come into my work not very often. I work in a retail store. I knew who she was. then H started to text her via Facebook.

she came into work today and I couldn't believe how many times she looked at me. I was non-existant to her before he started to text her. omg, what is going on between them? both of us have each other on our Facebook pages so she is well aware of me.

it felt so awkward. I didn't want to look at her looking at me but I couldn't help it.

posts: 45   ·   registered: Jun. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6532418
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